Strategic thought

In honor of Rudy Giuliani's impending departure from Campaign 2008, here are some political strategy conversations we overheard recently.

At Giuliani 9/11 Headquarters 9/11:
"So what's our plan to win the Republican nomination?"
"We'll lose four primaries in a row, then start winning."
"Great, then we'll get all that free press about how badly we're losing the early primaries!"

Also overheard at the Democratic National Committee when they were arguing over what to do with the Michigan and Florida primaries:
"They're not allowed to move their primaries up to January. Let's strip them of all their delegates."
"Seems reasonable. That way we won't have any of our candidates appear in two key swing states for the general election. What are the Republicans doing?"
"They're only halving the number of delegates and allowing their candidates to run."
"Good for us. Sure, they're going to establish volunteer teams on the ground, a fundraising base, and get their message out with no opposition, but we'll look principled and tough."
"Yes, principled, tough, and stupid. That won the last two elections!"

Florida Day

Big day today in Florida. The Republicans are holding a primary and the Democrats are trying to pretend their primary doesn't exist. Why should you care? Because a poor finish could end the campaign of Rudy Giuliani, Republican representing the great state of 9/11. And I think that no matter what your political affiliation, background, or belief structure, we can all agree that Giuliani is a douchebag.


In non-politics, here's a joke updated for the 21st Century:

Customer: Waiter, waiter, what's this mercury doing in my sushi?
Waiter: Bioaccumulating.