Slappy 1, System 0

Yes, that's right. I triumphed over The Man yesterday. Seems the Edward Jones investment company done fucked up. They done fucked up bad, and now it's time to pay. I joined a class action lawsuit in response to charges they were timing the trading of some mutual something. At any rate it was stock-related and bad. But now I've got 1,833 reasons to forgive them. That's right, 1,833 pennies: the settlement for each and every customer who got jacked by Edward Jones over mutual fund trading.

Actually, considering how little money I had invested, $18.33 is a pretty good settlement for me.