jiggscasey.com

Hello and Goodbye

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Wed, 09 May 2012 06:54:00 +0000

It's that time of year in which I remember that jiggscasey.com exists.

And now as I look at it again, I remember all the good times we had on this thing. We started it almost exactly 7 years ago today, and through 2000 posts and some good friends made, this blog was a big part of my life from 2005 to 2009. It chronicled my lazy grad school life, the eventual finishing of my dissertation, the making of our stupid youtube movies, and even logged the day that I finally got married.

With all of that history it hurts to say that this will be my last post on jiggscasey.com. And though most of my blogger friends are now long gone, and thus will never see this, let me just say that I appreciate all of the folks that I interacted with on here. The experience was amazing.

However, I don't want this post to be sad, so I'll leave you with the following wonderful information:

My wife and I are expecting our daughter within the month.

So even though the jiggscasey.com experience comes to an end, another even more amazing experience is about to start.

It's a book!

noreply@blogger.com (slappy) — Wed, 18 May 2011 02:23:00 +0000

You know what the second choice was for the title of this website? Funny to Us. Now that's the title for our new book full of old material. It's the JiggsCasey.com Greatest Hits album.

It's a kindle thing, too.

Eggs Winklevoss

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 05:16:00 +0000

I was going to start calling my testicles the Winklevoss Twins, but I decided that that'd be too insulting to my testicles.

At the Militant Lesbian Bistro....

noreply@blogger.com (TastyMcJ) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 04:06:00 +0000

Do you think they serve Man-Hatin' Clam Chowder?

My Idea for a Horrible Sitcom Character....

noreply@blogger.com (TastyMcJ) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 02:27:00 +0000

his catch phrase is 'I don't know, I'm just a douche with a dick in my hand....and it's MY dick!'

I think it has legs.

Another hilarious comment on our liquid nitrogen video

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 01:41:00 +0000

That video is the gift that keeps on giving:

this puts the word "public mastrabating trenchcoat,van driving cerial killer" in my head

A man, a plan, a canal: jiggscasey.com - the book

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 21:33:00 +0000

Time for our monthly blog post here. And I'm here to inform all 5 of you that follow this blog that we have a plan; A massive plan to put together the grandest volume of intellectual masturbation that the world has ever seen: jiggscasey.com - the book.

Like most of our grand plans, this one will likely fail. That said, we have started brainstorming titles for jiggscasey.com - the book. Here are the best titles we have come up with so far:

My other testicle is a convertible
Funny to us
I beat him to death with his own massive penis, and it was both glorious and erotic.
Snorting cocaine off of a dutch hooker's ass.

New Catchphrase!

noreply@blogger.com (TastyMcJ) — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 22:21:00 +0000

...or at least a new statement of dismay for use among the general public:

"Well Rickroll my Dickhole".

Rickroll my Dickhole could also be the title of a gay porno. probably.

If the singer Sting died...

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Wed, 19 May 2010 06:18:00 +0000

If the singer Sting died, would everyone start calling him "Stung"?

RIP Gordon Sumner

Friends with the Kennedys

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 01:07:00 +0000

Someone commented on the last post:

content please? You are missed! - RFK

Which can only mean that the ghost of Bobby Kennedy is a fan!

Take that every other blog that doesn't have the ghost of a kennedy as a fan!

In other news, I have to go to Raleigh, NC this week.

For those of you not familiar with Raleigh, it has a city councilman named "Bonner Gaylord". NO JOKE!

If I were to give Bonner Gaylord a nickname, it would be "Erect penis, King of the homosexuals".

If your penis is a white supremacist...

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:10:00 +0000

If your penis is a white supremacist,

Then would it be a member of the ku klux glans?

Booyah!!!!

I know it's a little late, but I still got it!

There are so many lesbians in berkeley that...

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 07:00:00 +0000

Merry new year to you all. I live in berkeley California, where every other woman is a lesbian. In other words:

There are so many lesbians in Berkeley that you can't throw a softball without hitting a subaru.

There are so many lesbians in Berkeley that you can't throw a turkey baster without hitting a strap-on dildo.

There are so many lesbians in Berkeley that you can't throw a Tegan and Sara album without hitting Tegan and Sara.

Admiral Snackbar

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:02:00 +0000

Ok. I think I finally thought of a phrase that isn't on the internet.

Enjoy my brand new phrase: Scrotisserie Chicken!

It's the combination of "scrotum" and "rotisserie chicken!" Obviously, scrotisserie chicken is a euphemism for the man junk area both because the penis is a rod and it's also a cock. I.e. A rotisserie and a chicken.

I got married.

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 06:53:00 +0000

The few of you that were wondering whatever happened to me now know the answer: I got married. And being married and having a real job makes it darn near impossible for me to blog.

And in case you're wondering if this is another one of my elaborate ruses, enjoy the following picture of my wife and I after the ceremony. We are positively glowing:

Blogging is so retro!

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:18:00 +0000

These days, people don't blog anymore. Sites like facebook and twitter have made it so much easier to share your thoughts with your friends that blogging seems antiquated.

In fact, I went to the trouble of joining those sites just to see what all the fuss was about, and I quickly realized something: Facebook and twitter are totally fucking stupid!

On facebook and twitter, people feel free to tell you every trivial and/or moronic thought that sprints through their feeble minds. It just makes me want to tell the whole world to "shut the hell up!"

I long for the days when people blogged and at least tried to be thoughtful. You know, the good old days...

Blinded by the light...

noreply@blogger.com (TastyMcJ) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 06:41:00 +0000

Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night....

What was Manfred Mann's Earth Band implying here? is lead singer Chris Thompson referencing crapping his pants in his sleep?

Another fun fact... this was a cover of Bruce Springsteen's first single, which didn't garner much success. The Boss's original lyric was "And she was blinded by the light/Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night/blinded by the light/She got down but she never got tight, but she'll make it alright", which again seems to imply some form of night-pooping...but perhaps with bouts of constipation on the road to empty bowels?

It's a rich tapestry, music.

The downfall of this blog...

noreply@blogger.com (TastyMcJ) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 06:37:00 +0000

makes me really sad, even though I'm partially to blame. Where else will people go to read stupid jokes? Like parodied-real-movie-name porno titles?

In other news, I was recently inspired to peruse the internet and see if anyone actually made 'Buttplugs at Tiffany's' or 'The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butthole'

I have been scooped again

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 07:00:00 +0000

Once again, I thought I had invented a new word. This time it was the word "smegmalomaniac" which is a hilarious combination of "smegma" and "megalomaniac", obviously meaning one who is obsessed with their own smegma. However, as is always the case, some other moron with internet access had already made up the word.

Thanks a lot internet. You suck.

Friction between water molecules killed the cat

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 08:12:00 +0000

The difference between a child and a cat: when a child is being naughty, you can't put it in the microwave.

Oscar Mayer dead: body ground up and put into hot dogs

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:38:00 +0000

What's a better word for a strange penis-vagina hybrid: vageenis or penginas?

Taiwanese Girls Successful Story

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:05:00 +0000

Tasty and I watched the first 3 minutes of a terrible east Asian soap opera (the stupidly named "Taiwanese girl successful story.") Then btown suggested that renowned chef Bobby flay should make a guest appearance. If Bobby flay were to make such an appearance, I'd bet that he'd make that Taiwanese woman's vagina a pallet for his bold semen.

Good News... Bad News

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:19:00 +0000

The good news is that I got a job a few weeks ago. The bad news is that I have no free time anymore to sit around and blog and play video games. Honestly, it kind of sucks.

So updates to the blog will be infrequent, but I'll still think about you... when I masturbate.

Another TV appearance.

noreply@blogger.com (TastyMcJ) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 22:07:00 +0000

Booty managed to score us some sweet tix to Conan's first tonight show!!!! Jiggs and I, being as ever-demanding of TV coverage by the sheer power of our presence, were once again awesomely visible... thanks in part to the foam Conan hair we scored that one time we saw him in San Francisco:

Booty is in another shot, but I haven't had time to photoshop a ski-mask onto his face yet.

As soon as NBC provides an HD downloadable version through their new beta 'NBC direct' dealio, I'll try and get some more high-res shots.

Openings are being filled

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Wed, 20 May 2009 07:01:00 +0000

This is a picture from the "massage therapy" place down the street from my place. Notice that in one window, they have three "open" signs (and they have a fourth in the adjacent window which you can sort of see the reflection of).

This "massage therapy" place always has those thick curtains up, so you can never see inside. Additionally, they have a peephole in their opaque wooden door. And usually if you're walking by, and the door opens for a "client", the person opening the door stands behind it so you don't see them. Except for this one time, when I saw an Asian chick with a nightie on.

Anyway, what I don't understand is why a massage parlor feels the need to advertise its openness with such redundancy. I get it: You're open and you provide oily handjobs. You don't need to be so aggressive about it, though.

We kicked its ass!!!

noreply@blogger.com (jiggs) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 08:27:00 +0000

The washer-dryer unit in our place was rattling... and we totally fucking fixed it! Take that you son of a bitch dryer! We kicked your ass! Your exhaust fan ain't never gonna spin free no more!

In case you're counting, this is the second time we fixed the shit out of the same washer-dryer unit. The first time, the motor for the wash basin broke, and we ordered a new one from kenmore and installed it ourselves.

The 1919s: 2; Washer-Dryer unit: 0

BOOM!