Sunday, November 02, 2008

Cruises are awesome

My girlfiancewife and I just got back from a cruise in Tahiti. It was twelve kinds of awesome. There's good food in ludicrous portions, waiters don't look at you funny if you order two desserts, you can relax in your room while you travel between islands, and there's even shuffleboard. Shuffleboard!

But the best thing about a cruise is the entertainment. If you like sub-D-list shows, and if you're reading jiggsblog you must, you need to get on a Princess Cruise right now. We'll wait here for you. We had a well-meaning but incredibly shrill young woman and an animatronic male lead starring in four nights worth of music and dance, backed up by the Tahitian Princess dancers - three men and three women, at least one of them being a former stripper.

They did some medleys of songs from movies and musicals that walked a fine line between bad cruise entertainment and genius-level parody of cruise entertainment, but the final show blew everything else out of the water. Motown. Eight very white people who had no soul and were not superbad embarked on a tribute to Motown. In fact, halfway through the show, the three flamboyant male dancers came out to do "ABC" by the Jackson 5, wearing comically loud polyester suits and giant black afro wigs. God bless them, they did this spastic dance that looked like what a 5 year old would do with a rag doll trying to imitate the Jackson 5. I thought the next number would be done in blackface. No, they just had a weird lighting effect to make the girls (doing a medley of the Supremes) look strangely swarthy.

Best cruise ever.

1 comment:

The Odd Duck said...

As someone who once grew an afro just to perform ABC, I have to agree with you.

Best cruise of ever.

I wouldn't have been able to watch that without much laughing into my hand/napkin/dismembered leg.

- Kendall