Friday, September 12, 2008

I am so jealous of Bristol Palin's future husband!

I am so jealous of Bristol Palin's future husband, highschool hockey player Levi Johnston. Just think, two months ago he was some nobody redneck in Alaska without prospects, destined to a life of perpetual poverty. And then he got engaged to the VP candidate's daughter. Assuming that McCain loses, it's no harm, no foul since he can just call off the wedding and no one will give a shit.

But if hypothetically McCain wins, it's like he has the lottery! He'll be the son-in-law to the vice president. That means that he'll be able to live a life of luxury, and being professionally unemployed. He'll be able to go to the front of the line at Disneyland and meet famous hockey players. Then assuming that he stays together with Bristol for a couple of years, he'll get a kickass book deal for a couple million. And then he'll be young, handsome, famous and rich!


B.E. Earl said...

You forget one detail. If McCain wins, then Palin inherits Dick Cheney's Death Squads completed with ninjas.

So if Levi fucks up, he might wake up to a shuriken in his throat.

Scarlet Hip said...

And then someday he'll run for office and lead the free world as well.