Friday, August 15, 2008

What we learned in Georgia

Putin reminded us this week that Rule #2 is Don't fuck with Russia. Yeah, they invaded Georgia, in clear defiance of international law. And? The Security Council can't do anything, even if Russia was out of the room taking a dump China would veto it. NATO isn't quite ready to start a land war in Asia, and if the EU gets lippy Russia flips a switch and Europe will look like North Korea.

What's Rule #1? As has been demonstrated every handful of years in the past half-century: Don't fuck with Israel. They invade with bulldozers just to make sure they get every last house. For those of you who are more graphically inclined, here's a map:


Countries you cannot fuck with are in red: Russia and Israel. In yellow are countries you might not be able to fuck with in the future: China and North Korea. These countries are pretty badass, but they need an air force/navy and a couple million ham sandwiches, respectively, to be really threatening.

Notable exception to the list is the United States. If you fuck with the US, yes, your country will get flattened from the air, but we'll rebuild it. Russia will flatten you, then sign a cease fire that makes you leave your own territory, but lets them stay.

4 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I thought the rule after "never get into a land way in Asia" was "never go against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!"

Ɯbermilf said...

be earl is right.

try doing some research next time.

slappy said...

No, I think you can fuck with Sicily now. After Godfather III at least.

Scarlet Hip said...

Inconceivable!!!