Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Thoughts on the Beijing Olympics

So I hear that the countries lined up for the opening ceremonies according to the number of strokes in the first character of the country's name in Chinese. This was either because it's the closest thing to alphabetical order in a pictographic language, or the organizers got drunk when they were planning the ceremony. Last time in Athens, countries were alphabetical order according to the Greek alphabet, which meant Zimbabwe didn't have to line up last, and haven't they suffered enough?

I've been thinking that the next time the US hosts the Olympics, we can do something different too. I say we have the countries line up according to what percentage Americans can place them on a map of the world. Ascending order. For all the countries battling for first place with 0%, tiebreakers will be
  1. Percentage of people who think it's not a real country (e.g. Georgia)
  2. Percentage of people who laugh when they hear the name (e.g. Kyrgyzstan)


Carl Spackler said...

two things...

1- there is no way that chink gymnast is 16...i mean she fucking ways 79lbs.

2- even though that US gymnast fucked up twice (and costing us the gold) i would totally bang her.

ps- i'm horny

Carl Spackler said...

that should read "that chink gymnast is 16...i mean she fucking WEIGHS 79lbs."

slappy said...

Yeah, the Chinese gymnasts can't be older than 12.

Sorry, I can't see this US gymnast. I only have eyes for Heather Mitts.