Monday, June 23, 2008

Futbol roundup

My newly beloved Dutch got eliminated from the Euro 2008 tourney, but at least Italy lost as well. Unlike Netherlands who believe in trying to score 20 goals a game even if they give up 19, Italy believe in playing for a 0-0 draw and winning on penalty kicks. Against Spain yesterday, Italy always had 5 behind the ball - if they didn't one faked an injury to stop play. For about 20 minutes I'm pretty sure they were playing a 10-0-0 formation. In extra time they just stacked up bodies in front of the net like firewood.

Watching the Italians play soccer is like watching a boa constrictor try to eat a horse. There's very little movement, it takes a long ass time, the snake may or may not succeed, and in the end you just don't care either way.

Azzurri? More like Assurri!

Because they play like ass.


Ɯbermilf said...

this is fascinating.

Tell me more about the Dutch.

slappy said...

Dutch: Very tall, very white, very fast, and very eliminated by Russia.

Slappy: Immune to sarcasm.