Thursday, May 01, 2008

My canker sore is totally hot!!!1!1

I totally won my salt eating contest today. Two salt shakers more than my closest competitor, Bernie "Dessicated Fingers" Torfelson. Afterwards he told me that he hadn't pooped in nearly six months. Such is the life of a professional salt eater.

Everybody was totally impressed that I was able to eat so much salt with my massive canker sore. In fact, my canker sore made me the sentimental favorite, and the audience's adoration made all the difference. Their cheers pushed me to eat those last 12 salt shakers.

One "salt groupie" was so into me, asking to lick my canker sore. At first I was disgusted, but the thought of hot salt groupie action was so intriguing that I accepted the offer. And let me tell you, my canker sore wasn't the only thing he licked! Booyah! Hot Gay Oral Sex!!!

Who knew festering sores could be so sexy?


Spinning Girl said...

That is indeed hot.

I recommend echinacea-propolis-goldenseal throat spray. It comes from Gaia herbs. It tastes like ass ... the worst ass you have ever tasted ... worse than Baboon Ass ... but! It totally cures sore throat, sores, and those painful bumps you sometimes get on your tongue and want to yank out with tweezers. You know?

Ass-Flavored Mouth Spray

miss kendra said...

that is gross and the very thought of it made my insides twitch.

TastyMcJ said...

you so crazy, jiggs.

slappy said...

You aren't half the salt eater that Torfelson is.

You just got lucky.

jamwall said...

Most herbal remedies taste like ass. Its part of the territory.

I'm thinking of opening my very own ass store someday.

amera hearts said...

spinning...i thought i was the only one who wanted to rip them out with tweezers ;)

jiggs, i cannot believe you ate that much salt. i'm sort of scared now.

i need to cuddle.

Lee Ann said...