Thursday, May 29, 2008

Measuring creepiness

I want to develop a scientific index for insects, spiders, and other such bugs. It will be based on size, speed, shell smoothness, and the ratio of leg length to body length. That way I can show quantitatively why I like ladybugs but centipedes scare the hell out of me.

Yes, engineers really do think this way.

4 comments:

Ɯbermilf said...

what about bugs that don't necessarily scare you, but who you are afraid to squash because of the unpleasant "crunch" sound their exoskeleton makes?

B.E. Earl said...

Centipedes and millipedes are icky because nothing in this world needs that many legs.

My least favorite "whatever it is" is the slug. Why, oh why do you exist you slimy mother-fucker?

slappy said...

Ubie: Hmmm, that will be tough. Maybe a decibel reading when a shoe falls on them.

Earl: The slug is pretty messed up. It's like god made the snail first and then wanted to show off how nasty a creature it was.

Carl Spackler said...

i just returned from a baseball game where i ate an entire bag of peanuts and washed it down with 5 bud lights. there is something "Big" and "Brown" that just got flushed down my toilet.