Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Jiggs Update!

Apparently I'm not reliable enough for Uebermilf to lustfully offer me her cupcakes. But if reliability is her single criterion for sexual chocolate cupcakes, then so be it. I am unreliable. My only certainty is my uncertainty. The call me the breeze; I keep rollin down the road.

Yes. That's right. I just quoted Lynyrd Skynyrd. And how powerfully apt that quotation was indeed.

Anyway, I promised you an update on my pathetic life in the title of this post, so here it is: I have a canker sore the size of Sheboygan. My giant canker sore will be quite the handicap at the salt eating contest tomorrow.

Additionally, my pal sent me the set list of the Kids in the Hall show that we went to. She had connections and got back stage and totally swiped it! And knowing about my combined love of Kids in the Hall and my unreliability, she ill-advisedly sent it to me. I'll frame it if I don't lose it first.

Whatever happened to that dumbass William Hung? Hopefully, he's dead.

9 comments:

Ɯbermilf said...

Wow, your giant canker sore is totally winning me back.

slappy said...

Damn you, Jiggs! Damn you and your charming, festering sores!

Scarlet Hip said...

I hear William Hung died of a festering canker sore the size of Sheboygan.

Oh. But you'll be fine. I'm sure.

Slyde said...

god do i love me some Kids in the hall... in fact, i had planned to link to one of their favorite skits tonight....

B.E. Earl said...

you're the king of all canker sores!

Tumbleweed said...

I might make a small come back!

Do you remember me? I have missed you, you silly redhead!

Carl Spackler said...

oh great...fucking Weed is back.

i thought William Hung is the pride and joy of your gay alma mater?

slappy said...

William Hung is a great Cal alum - when he realized his dream of being a pop star was shot and people were just laughing at him, he cashed in like a mofo.

I also saw him playing poker at the Mirage in Vegas. Good times.

amera hearts said...

you know, it's really bad for your karma is you wish people dead.

alos, you should have taken a picture of your canker sore and posted it!

ps. i'm mad that i gave into temptation and googled william hung.