Thursday, March 20, 2008

An open letter to Owen Wilson

Owen, Owen, Owen, how many times do I have to tell you this? You are not a lead actor. You have never been a lead actor. You will never be a lead actor. You are great at what you do: the goofy sidekick who is 70% relaxed enlightenment, 30% high. Or the lovable member of an ensemble cast who is 60% relaxed enlightenment, 40% high. Great too. But lead role? We already decided that wasn't the way to go for you. And now I see this poster.


Drillbit Taylor? Seriously? If you keep insisting on these roles I'm going to have to lock you in a closet until Wes Anderson needs you.

9 comments:

jamwall said...

He'd be awesome if he could act himself out of a wet soggy paper enclosure.

B.E. Earl said...

He knows all that.

That's why he tried to off himself.

(Too soon?)

amera hearts said...

i saw that poster months ago and thought the same thing. i liked b.e. earl's comment!

Seraphine said...

His name spelled backwards is Newo. What do you expect.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Say it ain't so, joe! OK, I do like Owen Wilson a lot. But lead actor he isn't.

TastyMcJ said...

Yet.... I will probably see it.

On the list of the 6 movies Owen's been in that I haven't yet seen, this is in the middle for presumed watchability.... probably flip-flopping 'The Big Bounce' or something....

And... say what you will about the overall quality of 'The Minus Man'... but Owen's leading role in that pretty much carried the movie.

slappy said...

Jammer: He was made to play himself and absolutely no one else.

Earl: Um.

Yeah, too soon.

Amera: Okay, you brought me around. It's not too soon.

Enihpares: Good point.

Kraut: I'm glad I have agreement to lock him in a closet until Wes Anderson needs him.

Tasty: I haven't seen The Minus Man, and yet, I will still disagree with you.

TastyMcJ said...

fair enough.

Ɯbermilf said...

He played a teeny tiny cowboy. Not everyone can pull that off.