Monday, March 03, 2008

Just got back from Atlantic City...

And boy is my immune system tired!

Some of my friends who have scattered up and down the East Coast decided to hold a small reunion in Atlantic City, New Jersey. That's where NJ legalized gambling in the hopes of making an East Coast Las Vegas. Instead they got an East Coast Reno. Even though the first casinos were built in 1978, most of them look 50 years old, and everything has a touch of grime on it. Atlantic City is also the Middle-Aged Cocktail Waitress in Uniform for Young Cocktail Waitress Capital of the World.

We played poker at the brand new Borgata, which only looks 15 years old and can afford young waitresses. It’s a great casino to be a complete degenerate in. I play an obscure game called Omaha, and when I sat down at the table I recognized 4 of the 9 people there. Last time I was in AC was probably 2-3 years ago. These people never leave.

Most of us finished a little bit ahead of the game, and then when we finally staggered back to check into our hotel, the rooms were clean and free of dead hookers. (It's always a wise thing to check your closets and and under the bed, as previous patrons may not have used the dead hooker disposal chute conveniently located next to the ice machine) I got back in last night, burned all my clothing from the trip, boiled my hands, and got some sleep. All in all, a great trip. I'll be back up to full speed sometime next Thursday.


B.E. Earl said...

I love Omaha. Especially when I forget that I am actually playing Omaha, and I think I'm playing Texas Hold 'Em.

"Ooo...full house. Sweet! What, huh, oh shit!"

TastyMcJ said...

Last time I was in Atlantic City I was only 20.

It really sucked.

jamwall said...

A dead hooker chute should really be in every home to lessen the times that daddy has to get in trouble with mommy.

Carl Spackler said...

AC is a major hell hole. they should just make it a toxic waste land...oh wait, it kind of already is.

i will say there is a great strip club there. i think its called Pure Pleasure. lots of hot bitches.

amera hearts said...

i would have to agree with tasy's comment because he took the words right out of my mouth.

carl, please watch your language! i think t hey prefer to be called hot slutty whores not hot bitches.

slappy said...

Earl: I love Omaha. I love when people forget they're playing Omaha even more. Happens now and then at the low limits.

Tasty: AC is not designed for 14-20 year olds.

Jammer: But what if you have a ranch house on a slab foundation? That crawl space will fill up real fast.

Carl: New Jersey + Donald Trump = toxic waste land. I'll have to stick with the Borgata, because there are lovely ladies AND gambling.

Amera: Actually I think they prefer strumpets.