Friday, March 07, 2008

Counterpoint: Jiggs is a Corpse-Loving Pervert

Proof by syllogism:

1. Movement is a fundamental characteristic of life.
2. Zombies, unlike corpses, can move.
3. Therefore, zombies are more alive than corpses.

4. Furthermore, Jiggs is a pervert.

I will grant that having sex with a being that is attempting to devour your brains is of questionable judgment, but who among us in the blog-o-sphere hasn't been led by booty to make questionable judgments? Am I right? Who's with me? Ah. Regardless, there is a big difference between risk and perversion. It's the difference between sleeping with a hot, crazy chick who might stab you in the morning and sleeping with a sheep.

In conclusion, Jiggs is a pervert.


miss kendra said...

this argument made perfect sense to me.

jiggs, you got some 'splaining to do.

slappy said...

Kendra, I'm glad I have you in my corner on this one.

B.E. Earl said...

I dunno...a rock falling down a mountain is moving, but there is no inherent life involved.

Nah...that makes no sense.

slappy said...

Movement here is defined in very specific terms, i.e. pelvic thrusting.

Anything that thrusts its pelvis is alive, or at least more alive than something that cannot thrust its pelvis.