Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Fascist? Haven't even met her!

Once upon a time, in the 1930s, only the fascists were fascists. In the 1960s, anyone who arrested a hippie was a fascist. In the 1980s, wanting to lower the capital gains tax rate made one a fascist. Today, Muslim terrorists are Islamofascists and even liberals are accused of fascism rather than communism. I fought against this loose use of the term fascist to mean "bad guy," but the tide of public opinion is against me. Now the only recourse is to join the movement and push it to the logical extreme. My new goal is to stretch the meaning of fascism so far that it loses any residual meaning, and no longer covers the message boards of the Inter-Net like so much l33t speak.

So I'm asking all of our loyal readers to start using "fascist" in the most casual terms possible. Once the 8 readers of JiggsCasey.com get behind the idea, it's sure to sweep the nation.
  • "Hey, you fascist, use your turn signal!"
  • "That dog will not stop barking. That little furry fascist bastard."
  • "I can't believe he threw that interception. Our quarterback is a fascist."
  • "Would anyone think I was a fascist if I took the last slice of pizza?"
  • "Listen to that guy babble on about how the individual should subordinate himself to the corporate State. What a fascist!"


Kat said...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was a fascist.

B.E. Earl said...

My favorite line from "The Big Lebowski" is when the Dude calls the sheriff a "fucking fascist" after the sheriff throws a coffee mug at his head.

And the "Haven't even met her!" line just keeps bringing the funny.

slappy said...

Kat: Solid. Incredibly funny... for a fascist.

Earl: We strive for humor through mindless repetition.

Ɯbermilf said...

that fascist stole my underwear!