Thursday, November 08, 2007

Negotiations continue

If I stopped negotiating every time someone threatened to rectally insert my desired pay increase, I wouldn't have gotten very far in life.

Look, Jiggsy, we both know you are going to run out of 1919 films sooner or later. The Booty J Patrol 9000 and the TastyMcJ Prototype A were never designed for that much wear and tear. Those animatronic robots will explode if you try to film them more than once a week. No one wants a repeat of the Lodi incident.

Furthermore, I was reviewing the finances of the jiggsblog. Our current gross income is $314,327.88 (although technically all of our transactions are in krugerrands). Less your hat allowance, the 50% postage subsidy for my love letters to Madeline Albright, and funding for the Guatemalan sweatshop that ghostwrites all the penis jokes on the website, that comes to a net profit of $37.14. And you're telling me we can't afford this raise?

I'll take 16 cents.


Übermilf said...

Slappy, I think you're hurting your cause by writing your dispute on the blog.

miss kendra said...

i think 15 cents and a promise of eternal love is a fair deal.

Nick said...

I vote for Slappy. ALways.

B.E. Earl said...

I always thought that the penis jokes on this site had a Guatamalan flavor to them.

The jokes, not the penises. Penisi?

Scarlet Hip said...

Slappy, no offense, but negotiating is not your forté.

slappy said...

Ubie: Dammit, you're right. If only you had been at the planning meeting...

Kendra: I don't think Jiggs is willing to offer love. He might offer less disdain.

Nick: Alright, got some support at the picket line. I hope I can continue to count on you when they break out the firehoses and police dogs.

Earl: is home of the spicy penis joke.

Scarlet: I'll make you a counteroffer - I am good at negotiating, and I'm pretty. Okay, I'll take I'm pretty. Um, can I have a hug?