Friday, September 28, 2007

Open letter to the car next to me at the red light

Why are you drifting forward? Cross traffic still has a green. You know something I don't? No, you're stopping. Huh, your foot must've slipped off the brake.

This is a long light. I suppose I should find a new radio station... here's Hey There Delilah again. Am I sick of this song yet? No, I guess not. Wait, now you're moving forward again. That looked like you actually pushed the gas a little before braking. What was that? Are you trying to intimidate the light into turning green? How's that usually work out for you? Wow, you must be in a hurry.

Well, cross traffic finally has that yellow. Now you'll be jetting off the line pretty hard. And... now. Now. Why aren't you moving? We have a green and you're just sitting there. I was going to give you the visceral satisfaction of beating me out of the intersection, but I guess I'll go ahead. I'll just watch you in the rear view and... okay, now you're going.

So what the hell was that stutter step business about? Why are the cars that impatiently ooze forward at the red light the last ones to go at the green? I just want to understand. I just want to understand why you douchebags drive the way you do.

3 comments:

Carl Spackler said...

are the GayBears going to win this weekend?

i think a lot of people are picking the Ducks.

slappy said...

Golden Bears, Carl. It's golden.

Oregon favored by 5. In the last 4 years, home team has won, and the Bears have a banged up defense. But what would a Cal fan be if he weren't blindly optimistic? Cal by 4.

Teddy Bear Giraffe said...

Bad drivers make me violent. He was drifting towards annihilation.