Monday, September 03, 2007

Fuck you unions!

"Union" is an accurate term only if you are using it to describe them as the unholy union of socialism and the devil!

Yesterday was Labor Day, and instead of honoring labor and resting, I decided to thumb my nose as big labor. I went to the local toilet seat factory and personally manufactured 3500 toilet seats, more than double what the factory outputs per day with it's full unionized labor force. And that was all before lunch, which lasted for only ten minutes before I was back to work.

Not only that, but some lucky toilet seat buyers will get a free laser powered poop removal system. Those turds won't even make it to the water before you smell shit smoke!

Smell my shit smoke, unions!

11 comments:

slappy said...

For the last time, your poop-burning inventions only make the problem worse. At least you've stopped trying to convince people to poop over a giant bonfire.

Übermilf said...

I think you're making this up.

Carl Spackler said...

i fucking hate unions. they are the primary reason why we ship jobs overseas. i think all unions should be abolished.

slappy said...

Ubie: Everything on JiggsCasey.com is completely true. Except most of the names and events.

Carl: It's actually more that Malaysians will work for ten cents an hour.

Don't get me wrong, I think a lot of union leadership is a bunch of douchebaggery, but we need it to counteract corporate douchebaggery.

America has gotten very far in the world by using the "douchebag adversary" method.

miss kendra said...

i need a union to counteract all the douchebaggery i encounter.

Scarlet Hip said...

Jimmy Hoffa is rolling over in his...uhhhh...whatever.

slappy said...

Maybe the blog should form a union to take care of the douchebags that we have to deal with at work.

Wait, is union the word I'm looking for? No, goon squad. We should form a goon squad to take care of the douchebags.

jamwall said...

I think I worked there!! They forced me to sit down when I pee during my shift. OSHA regulations.

Übermilf said...

Is it weird that I initially read this as, "Fuck you onions?"

Spinning Girl said...

I like unions, especially the union blossom and the side of union rings. Once in a while I will eat a bag of funions, but they give me breath.

Lee Ann said...

Oh my goodness...you are a laborer!