Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Washington DC wedding/travelogue

I spent the weekend in Washington DC at a friends' wedding. It was, shall we say, laid back. The reception was at a bowling alley. I was happy that I didn't have to wear a suit.

Travelogue: Washington D.C.

Climate: I don't know about the rest of the year, but in August it is best described as sub-Hellish. The first day I was there I swear the high was 95 and the overnight low was 96. According to the weather channel, with the humidity and haze in the air, the heat index was around 350 degrees. That didn't sound right at first, but a friend was baking cookies so I climbed inside the oven when she was done and it felt about the same.

Things to do: The Smithsonian is a fine place for geeks. As such, it took up most of our non-wedding day. The first thing to note about the Smithsonian is that each museum is huge, and the maps don't indicate scale very well. We went through the gems and minerals wing of the Natural History Museum that looked fairly small on the map, and that took three hours. Some of the other visitors are more focused and driven to get to the centerpiece exhibit (Hope and Tiffany diamonds, which incidentally aren't nearly as exciting as the Pink Panther) - we overheard a father tell his son "Stop looking at that, we need to hurry up."

Beyond their annoying tendency to read, children are everywhere at the Smithsonian. I saw more of the "go limp so your dad can't pick you up" move in one afternoon than in the past five years. Never walk in the museum without looking straight down first or else you will trample a small child. I think we should replace all those failed high school abstinence classes with a single field trip to the Smithsonian on a Sunday afternoon.

Sign of the long, comfortable decline of America: The Air and Space Museum has a huge food court run by McDonalds.


Spinning Girl said...

This was a most entertaining post.

Did you have an opportunity to visit The Fish Room at the Smithsonian? It is a giant storeroom filled with 3 million fish, embalmed in jars. Also home to a giant tank of alcohol that contains the first caught Coelacanth. It is a sight to behold!

I often use the "go limp" evolutionary response when confronted with an unpleasant situation. This has saved me from many meetings at my job.

I hope you at least saved me a cookie?

TastyMcJ said...

is it at least a Space McDonalds?

I'm not sure what a Space McDonalds is, but it sounds... more palatable.

Tits McGee said...

McDonalds notwithstanding, the Air and Space Museum makes me moist.

Nick said...

Air and Space are stupid, why do they need their own museum? You know what does need its own museum? McDonalds.

jamwall said...

I was in DC for a wedding. That white dress was still too warm for a Washington summer.

Carl Spackler said...

thanks for letting me know you were in town dickhead.

fyi, today it hit 106 with the humidity.

i must have used half a container of powder on my NIZZUUUTTSSS.

Lee Ann said...

What a cool place for a wedding (or in this instance due to time of the year..."non-cool"!) I understand the heat thing...we are having 100 degree weather ALL this week, but the heat index is at least 5 degrees hotter!
*drip drip*

slappy said...

Spinner: Missed the fish room - we did the fossil room and ice age instead. I'll have to try that move at my next technical review. "Why didn't you vary the temperature more?" *Flop*

Tasty: No Space McDonalds, which I'm guessing would have all the products in freeze-dried pouches. Actually, I'll bet that's how most of it arrives to the place.

Tits: Is it the rockets? I bet it's the rockets.

Nick: *20 years from now* And that, little children, is how the Smithsonian McDonald's Museum was born. Here you can see the first McNugget.

Jammer: The bride must have been pissed.

Carl: You're in DC? I had no idea. My bad. I always imagined you were posting to us from a missile silo deep beneath the North Dakota prairie. The worst part of the trip was that security took my container of Ball Powder.

Lee Ann: I don't understand why Southerners don't just go with winter weddings. It's probably a hell of a lot cheaper to rent places too. The only people I know who did a winter wedding were a couple in Boston. Madness.