Friday, August 31, 2007

The Larry Craig Show

I have been entertaining the idea that Larry Craig is telling the truth when he says that he had no idea that his bathroom stall antics could have been construed as requests for sex. It's an amusing flight of fancy because in my imagination, it feels a lot like an episode of "curb your enthusiasm", especially since Larry Craig looks a little like Larry David and they share the same first name.

I imagine Larry Craig sitting down on the toilet struggling to pass a difficult stool, when out of nowhere a spider drops onto his penis. He can't smash the spider because doing so would lead to his own injury, so he decides to try to shake it off of his penis into the toilet, by stamping his feet. And of course the undercover cop in the stall next to Craig's assumes that Craig is soliciting gay sex, which Craig would never do, because he is not gay.

On a more serious note, this whole Larry Craig situation is discouraging me from traveling because I sometimes take dumps in airport bathrooms, and now I'm worried that I could accidentally solicit gay sex or accidentally fall prey to a gay sex sting operation when I start practicing my bathroom rendition of "she'll be coming round the mountain".


slappy said...

That would be a good sitcom plot, because you can't successfully deny being a homosexual. Phrases like "I'm totally not gay" or "I'm 100% heterosexual" just aren't convincing.

You should probably work on a bathroom musical without "coming" in the title.

Carl Spackler said...

who takes dumps in an airport?!?!? thats nasty.

did i ever tell you guys the story about my friend who was at a USC game two years ago? it was half time of the USC/Washington State game and he went to take a piss. while waiting for the shitter he noticed two sets of feet in the stall in front of him. so some dude went and got a cop. he made them open the door and there was two dudes "servicing" each other.

i mean who does that in a football stadium with 90,000 people in attendance?!?!?!? anyway, they arrested both of them on the spot.

miss kendra said...

i think we all know you solicit all kinds of airport sex.

in other news, my word ver is jggby!

Tits McGee said...

What did any of us find to blog about before Larry Craig?

Also, I think you'd totally be into group release parties, Jiggs. Click the second link in my new post.

Scarlet Hip said...

I hear he's going to call the former governor of New Jersey. For advice I mean.


B.E. Earl said...

I try to stay away from dumping in airport bathrooms.

But this one time I had to projectile vomit in a New Orleans airport restroom due to, um, certain circumstances.

There were lots of feet moving and pounding on stalls on that day, I tell you.

Nick said...

Who the fuck is Larry Craig?