Sunday, July 29, 2007

Dogfighting: the new douchebaggery

Michael Vick has been indicted on charges of operating a dogfighting ring without a license. Wait, no, that’s not legal with a license either. As most of you know, the American legal system operates on the presumption of innocence. The blog-o-sphere, on the other hand, does not.

I can safely say right now that Mike Vick is probably a crook, and definitely a douchebag.

This has been covered extensively in most areas of the media, so I will focus on one aspect of the case that has been bothering me: the comparisons of dogfighting to cockfighting. I am tired of people constantly comparing things they find disgusting to cockfighting. Even ultimate fighting is called by some human cockfighting, and by others the new Copernicus (whatever that means).

As the official Half Filipino, I find this disparaging to my people. Cockfighting is, if not integral to, at least pervasive in the Filipino culture. It is a brutal, disgusting event, but at least roosters instinctively attack each other and don’t need to be tortured in order to fight, like dogs. People just give the roosters, who want to fight anyways, knives strapped to their feet, so it’s really… okay, it’s still barbaric, but less barbaric. Only one rung worse than KFC on the Animal-Related Barbarism Scale.

At the sugar museum in Puunene, Maui, (I recommend it to all) there is a picture of a Filipino man arriving circa 1900 to Hawaii to work in the cane fields. All he brought with him from the Philippines was a basket with a change of clothes in one hand, and a rooster in the other. I still have a couple cousins over there who raise roosters. Yes, a portion of my family tree is full of Hawaiian rednecks. Please do not connect me to Mike Vick.

In conclusion, the Atlanta Falcons organization needs to make a stand here and void Michael Vick’s contract if he has indeed participated in and organized dogfights. It is a subhuman practice, as compared to the merely disgusting practice of cockfighting. Besides, his career completion percentage is below 55% and he throws as many touchdowns as interceptions. I don’t care if he can run for 120 yards in a game, the 2 picks will kill you.

Thank you for your time.


Nick said...

i agree.

jamwall said...

Anybody who can make Randy Moss look like an upstanding member of the community has pulled off a Herculean feat.

Carl Spackler said...

thank you for taking the time to write this piece.

i've knew from day 1 that vick wasn't going to amount to shit in the NFL. with most of my friends having gone to VaTech i took a verbal beating but as you said, the stats don't lie. he has no touch or concept on how to throw the ball. he reminds me of bobby hurley..the all everything Duke point guard from the late 90's in that great college players don't necessariy make great pro players.

now i'm going to cut off my cock.



Übermilf said...

If you do, Carl, I'm not sewing it back on again.