Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Beckham is here

David Beckham has come to America to play soccer. At least that's what ESPN told me. And all the major news outlets. I feel it is time to weigh in on Beckhamania.

Victoria Beckham looks like a freaky alien approximation of the human female form. Is there any kind of plastic surgical procedure that can undo ten years of high-intensity plastic surgery?



At any rate, what I really want to comment on is the commercial that has been playing all over the airwaves out here.



Did they intentionally match David Beckham coming to America to play soccer with a terrible cover of a Beatles song? I don't think that the MLS wants people to be thinking "Americans taking something awesome from England and turning it into shit" when they think of Beckham playing for the LA Galaxy.

10 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

You're right. Beckham is like something out of Heavy Metal magazine in the 80's. Alien/Robot/Slut.

Mostly a pretty good combo, in my experience.

slappy said...

Yeah, except she probably doesn't have human genitals.

jamwall said...

So if I watch an MLS game, will I be promised hours of robot/alien sex?

Ɯbermilf said...

considering the Beatles/Rolling Stone stole most of their music from American blues musicians, it's only fair.

Also, I wonder if Mrs. Beckham melts if she sits too close to the fireplace.

miss kendra said...

i bet her genitals are either smooth like a ken doll or have BIG GNASHY TEETHS.

slappy said...

Jammer: I think that is legally binding, yes. As legal counsel, I think you can sue the MLS if after watching a full Galaxy game, you don't get multiple hours of robot/alien sex.

Ubie: Well, about 50% of the Beatles music came straight for hard drugs. And Yesterday came to Paul in a dream (the music, not the lyrics). The early stuff, yeah, that was lifted. Then we should've let someone with a little bit of soul cover the tune.

Kendra: I'm thinking 30% chance smooth, 65% chance teeths. 5% chance that it's a portal to a parallel dimension of pure evil.

Nick said...

I like that version of the song.

slappy said...

No, that's not possible. You must be mistaken.


Damn you Nick, why must you undermine my flimsy post premises?

Carl Spackler said...

i honestly think i could bang Posh Spice in half. those fake boobs look way out of place. if i were beckham i would stay single and bang every hot bitch i could.

not a sermon,
just a suggestion

Lilly said...

Where the fuck is my comment? I posted one in here yesterday....