Monday, July 16, 2007

Restoring balance to the facial hair universe

Most of you saw Tasty sans beard in the kwik-e-mart photos. Some of you expressed horror at the change, though he is totally scoring with all the ladies.

I thought, however, that his lack of facial hair was causing an imbalance in the universe. So I have been growing a goatee to try to heal the rift in the face-hair continuum.

What I like about the goatee is that it's kind of like a mullet for your face. If you sport a goatee, you are either the guy that owns a complete Hank Williams Jr. record collection or the guy on his way to the city dump to shoot rats.

But it's not all wine and roses between me and the goatee. In fact I have one huge problem with the goatee: the growing of it. Sadly, I grow facial hair like an eighty-five year old grandmother.

So after three weeks of growing my goatee, I look as if someone rubbed soot onto my upper lip and chin. People on the street stop me to ask if I'm moonlighting as a chimney sweep. Then they point and laugh.

12 comments:

slappy said...

Soot? You're dying your goatee black? That's probably why people are pointing and laughing.

Ɯbermilf said...

I wouldn't point and laugh.

To your face.

Nick said...

I have a goatee and I don't do either of those things. Jerk.

slappy said...

Yes you do. In fact, last weekend I saw you down at the city dump shooting rats with Hank Williams Jr.

miss kendra said...

i thought it was "dashing."

TastyMcJ said...

my beard should be back in full by the weekend.

B.E. Earl said...

Used to have a goatee, but my lady likes me w a full beard.

Just like Chuck Norris!

jamwall said...

I have goatee-shaped pubic hair. Also me and the rats love to go down to the garbage dump and shoot Hank Williams Jr.

Carl Spackler said...

i love goatee's. i have trouble with the sides. i can grow my upper lip and chin with no problems.

actually...even better than the goatee is the fu man chu.

i hope you keep growing it and post pictures like you did with your mullett update.

Nick said...

Damn you, Slappy!

amera hearts said...

were is the picture of this awesome facial phenom?

Tits McGee said...

So you'll be using the mullet wash on your face, then, sweetie?