Have you ever run out of clean underwear?

This morning I looked for a pair of clean underwear, and couldn't find any: I don't like to free-ball because I don't want my immense manly parts to get caught on something in my priestly pants, and since I was already late to my local priest meeting, I didn't have enough time to wash a pair.

So I did what all of us have done in such a scenario: I dug through some of my older belongings to find that pair of my cousin's panties that I stole from the hamper when I was staying at my aunt's house during a spring break gone by. Sure, those little black panties have a small tear at the elastic waist, but at least they were clean. And as they say, cleanliness is next to Godliness.

After trying them on, I realized the flaw in my plan: Women's panties are different from men's underwear, because panties have a lot less junk-covering material in the front. Even with the panties on, my immense manly parts were still hanging out all over the place.

It was then that I was struck by heavenly inspiration: If I wore the panties backwards, the extra butt-covering material ends up covering my immense manly parts. Of course, you could end up with a truly demonic wedgie, but if Satan wants to possess my buttcrack, then so be it.