Friday, April 06, 2007

Wisdom teeth: the upside

Amera is going under the knife today to lose those wisdom teeth. Let's all wish her the best.

I remember when I had my wisdom teeth out my senior year of high school (don't worry, I won't get graphic). I was young so the procedure could be done by my dentist under local anesthetic. They put me on some laughing gas (ironically, much of my thesis revolved around the production of laughing gas, or N2O) and shot me full of novocaine. By a loose estimate, I think I got 32 shots of it. You lose track of numbers when you have that much novocaine in your head though. It was very unpleasant for the first tooth, but to be honest, I was getting bored for the last half of the procedure. 32 shots of novocaine will do that. My only distinct memory was that they had to tell me to turn my head four times before I could process the information and actually move my head.

Dentist: "Slappy, turn your head."
Me: {thinking} Wait, what?
Dentist: "Slappy, turn your head, we need to work on the other side."
Me: {thinking} Hmm. I think they're talking to me.
Dentist: "Slappy, turn your head."
Me: {thinking} How the hell do I do that?
Dentist: "Slappy, turn your head."
Me: "Oh." {turns head}

After that they sent me home, I had some Oxycontin and watched some hockey. Ha! See? It always comes back to hockey. Unless it's football season.


jamwall said...

my general anesthesia experience with my wisdom teeth was something worth forgetting.

so, they put me under. i wake up covered in blood holding a scalpel and a mister thirsty, there's a dead dentist and dead dental assistant laying on the floor with their pants down and a tube of those flouride tubes inserted into their anus.

i don't remember anything, but i do recall dreaming about being attacked by a hoover vacuum cleaner.

Rebecca said...

The lasy trip to the dentists resulted in him telling me to find another...Its not my fault his name is richard long...Think about his name and me being gassed up....Dick long...his sign reads long dick for chirsts sake...too many jokes....too many..And I told them all....anyone know a good dentist

Rebecca said...

oops last...cant spppeeellll

slappy said...

Jammer: Do we have the same dentist?

Rebecca: There's a professor in my old department at MIT named Daniel I.C. Wang. So you can either go "I.C. Wang" or "D.I.C. Wang".

Monkey said...

Jamwall made my sides hurt.

I can relate to your experience Slappy, (but not Jamwall's).

I had mine out when I was 16. Apparently while coming out of haze, I talked non-stop about my prom dress, driving several dental assistants to suicide.

Yours in N2O
Monkey's Human

Lee Ann said...

Oh, ouch....I had mine out many years ago. They had to cut out and stitch up the gums for the two on the bottom. They stitched up to the top part of my jaw and I could barely open my mouth for two weeks! oooohhhh bad memories!

slappy said...

Monkey: Crazy thing is, I talked non-stop about my prom dress too. It was powder blue with big puffy shoulders.

Lee Ann: Yikes. I hope you could at least enjoy tasty milkshakes.