Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I ALMOST feel bad for telemarketers

The other day I came home to my apartment, and there was a message on the machine. Since no one ever uses that phone except tele-marketers and bill collectors, I knew I wasn’t interested in what the message said, but I decided to listen, just for shits and giggles. Here is a transcript:

“Hello, is this Mr. Booty J Patrol?”
[pause]
“Great, how are you today?”
[pause]
“My name is Jim, and I’m calling on behalf of the San Francisco 49ers, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”
[pause]
“Great! Are you a sports fan?”
[pause]
“Excellent! How do you feel about the 49ers this year?”

This went on for about 10 minutes. I got worse and worse. Clearly the niners are desperate for fans, based on the questions, and clearly this guy knew that he was not being monitored. He was probably being paid by the hour, and not the call. I just wonder what answers he was writing down for me…

8 comments:

Rebecca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rebecca said...

My post before this was way too long....oops...so here are some creative responses ..short responses:

I'll be watching you
"I can't believe you got this number so quickly. I got out of prison yesterday. You know what I was in for? Selling telemarketers' personal information to people who do bad things to them. Can I get you to stay on the line for just about 35 more seconds while this thing downloads your cubicle location and headset I.D.?" or "This call will be recorded for quality assurance."

Carl Spackler said...

the niner's suck.

farts and fluff forever

Monkey said...

This is brilliant. Hope the guy gets his bonus at the end of the month.

This reminds me of that hilarious Tom Mabe telemarketer prank that Hypersonic had on his blog a while back. I still listen to it occasionally just for kicks.

slappy said...

The Niners do suck. It's a shame, but that's dynasty hangover for you. Sooner or later you run out of smart moves and end up drafting Jim Druckenmiller.

jamwall said...

hello is this jiggscasey.com?

great! are you a geyserhole fan?

great! where do you like to position your geyserhole?

between the zipper and the basement? great!

amera hearts said...

that is hill-air-e-ous!

i usually just mess with them if they call. i haven't gotten a telemarketer call since i decided that my cell would be my only phone!

boo hoo niners. way to go pats!

Ookami Snow said...

That is very funny.

I approve.