Sunday, April 29, 2007

Campaign 2008: Debates

Dennis Kucinich, what's the point? Are you going to do this every four years? You stay in the race too long, making the Democratic primary debates too crowded and chaotic, and making the 7 Dwarves analogy all too apt. Even if you could win the primary and general election, which clearly would require an unprecedented number of sex with farm animal scandals in your opponents' camps, how could you lead this country? It is a dangerous world, and our enemies would be emboldened once they realized how easy it would be to grab you, flip you upside down, and flush your head in a toilet. Do not make the office of the President synonymous with the swirly. I saw your latest poll numbers: 0% with an error of ±3%. Stand aside for my candidacy. I am also polling at 0%, but with an error of ±6%. I have twice the upside you do.


John McCain... You're kind of a badass. You frighten me. I won't say shit about you.

10 comments:

Ɯbermilf said...

Dennis Kucinich has powers which mere mortals like you are incapable of understanding.

Like making cookies.

And causing your internal organs to implode.

slappy said...

He really should be playing up the organ implosion ability. Just think how that could help us against Al Qaeda.

Hell, I'd vote for him if he could make Osama bin Laden's liver implode.

GrandPooOfAwesome said...

I agree about Kucinich. That thing where they do the talky talky on the CSPAN was on, and I missed it cause it kept going in and out cause my cable box was all effed up, but all I caught was his talking head going, "Blah, blah, blah" just like it did four years ago. Oy.

I realize having said this, I should avoid any cookies sent to me by mail.

Thank you.

Tits McGee said...

Dennis Kucinich makes my pants explode.

jamwall said...

Dennis Kuinich fires laser beams out of his left nipple.

jamwall said...

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were talking about Kucinich.

I thought you were talking about Dennis "Kuinich." Now that guy is a real badass.

Carl Spackler said...

i dont' care who wins as long as its not hilary.

she is on my assassination list...second only to osama bin laden.

slappy said...

Poof: CSPAN should only show British parliament sessions where they yell at each other and Asian legislatures where they beat the crap out of each other.

Tits: Kucinich and the Professor? I'm seeing a pattern here...

Jammer: Dennis Kuinich is one bad mofo.

Carl: Can't say I'm excited about Hillary either. That's why I'm running. I'm looking forward to talking to the FBI now.

psycho baby said...

hillary is a poop mouthed slutwhore!

brookelina said...

...synonymous with a swirly. That's just brilliance.

McCain is a tool.