Friday, April 13, 2007

Campaign 2008: Debates

Barack Obama, you have betrayed your heritage. You don't speak the way your people do, nor do you carry on their customs and traditions. I am of course referring to your Hawaiian roots. You were born in Honolulu, and spent the majority of your childhood in Oahu. Yet you never speak with a local accent, nor do we ever hear the Pidgin dialect from you. Are you ashamed of being judged culturally backwards? Did you never embrace the local people? Do you look down on their culture? In short, sir, are you racist against ethnic Hawaiians and the caucasian-polynesian-asian-black-hispanic blend that is the local Hawaiian population? Well, sir, I do not see how you can hope to compete for the Presidency without those 4 electoral votes.

Wot, brah, you no like talk da kine? You wen go stay on da mainland too long, forget how fo talk li dis, yeah? Brah, you just one haole.

I respectfully await your rebuttal in the comments section.


miss kendra said...

have you ANY idea how much i love the word haole?

i know it's a derogatory term and all, but it gives me pleasure.

talk pidgin to me.

oh yeah.

slappy said...

Haole isn't technically derogatory - it's very context dependent. My relatives over there would describe you as a nice haole girl, for example. It just means white. Although it can be powerfully derogatory when surrounded by the proper mix of obscenities and sneers.

My Pidgin accent is terrible. But I can serve as a translator over there.

amera hearts said...

i love this post. i too was born in honolulu and spent several summers there.

i wish i could speak pidgin.

happy weekend!

Brookelina said...

Obama called. He said, "Like beef? You lolo!"

Monkey said...

I'm going over to YouTube to watch Hula Dancing. You can't stop me.

Lee Ann said...

I cannot speak pidgin :(

slappy said...

Amera: You've summered in Hawaii and collected semen from a bull? I am intrigued.

Brookie: Message for Obama - Chance'um! Where you stay? No act, bumbye yo face get all bus up!

Monkey: Of course not, I'm familiar with the old adage "never get between a monkey and hula dancers".

Lee Ann: Yeah, but you've got the sweet southern accent thing going on.

Lee Ann said...

Slappy ~ thank you, that is one of the nicest things anyone has said to me in a long time!