Thursday, March 01, 2007

No committees needed

2008 Campaign Update: McCain is officially in, Vilsack is officially out, Rudy is officially a Republican, and Obama is officially black.

I can sit on the sidelines no longer. I'm throwing my hat (and possibly my pants) into the ring. I formally announce that I, Slappy Rjinswand, am running to be the next president of the United States of America. I will register under the JiggsCasey.com Party, which we hope to get on the ballot in 49 states and the District of Columbia. Screw you, Alaska! We don't need your 3 puny electoral votes. Repeatedly electing Senator Stevens was cute at first, but it's getting on my nerves.

I'm working on my platform this week. Any help is appreciated. So far all I have is "Increase awesomeness in federal government four-fold within the first hundred days."

9 comments:

jamwall said...

ah yes! your 12-page "plan for awesomeness!"

or was it 6 pages of awesomeness?

regardless, its a plan that will work!

Kat said...

I'm canadian but I'll vote for you anyway if I can have your pants.

slappy said...

Right now the plan is just scribbled notes on a cocktail napkin.

Sweet, my first vote! Or at least supporter. If I lose here in the States next I'll try to become PM up North.

miss kendra said...

you have my vote, and i hope your platform also involves pantlessness.

Lee Ann said...

WOOHOO! *clap clap*

Vote McDougal said...

Fuck you.

Vote McDougal said...

And another thing...


Fuck you.

slappy said...

McDougal, I will not descend into the politics of self destruction. I am going to run a positive campaign, and refrain from telling people that you once ate a live puppy.

Vote McDougal said...

McDougal doesn't deny that.