Thursday, March 15, 2007

Hello Blogosphere, I need your help

As Miss Kendra aptly pointed out a little while back in the comments, some of us have been less than prolific in our posting lately. I don't know about the other guys, but my excuse was that two weeks ago, I gave my two weeks notice at work. Today is my first day off. Before today, I was working extra hard so that my team would still want to work with me again in the future, so I didn't have much time to post.

Some of you might be thinking, "You know, I have no idea where Booty works." That is because I have never told you. Even when I wrote my Monkey inspired photo essay of my workplace, I was very careful to remove all signs of where I work. That is because if anyone knew, they would have hounded me. Here is a picture of the front of the building, which should give you a clue about where I worked:

Front of eBay

Most people, upon figuring it out, and then hearing that I was in the Security group, say one of three things to me:

1. Can you get a discount for me? (No, I couldn't even get one for myself)
2. Some dude ripped me off, can you help (No, I'm not in customer service, only they can help you)
3. Your company stole my money, can you help (No. You don't think they make billions of dollars a year giving money back to people, do you?)

Luckily, since I don't work there anymore, no one will ask me these things (although I suspect you guys will come up with some other good questions, which I will answer to the best of my abilities and what my termination agreement will allow).

And now is the part where I need your help. I need to pick a title for my new job.

The new title does not have to have anything to do with what I do or where. It simply must be creative, witty, and appropriate for a business card. One suggestion was "Trouble Maker". I didn't find that quite good enough, and I know y'all can do better.

I eagerly await your comments, including the ones that will include inappropriate titles to titillate the mind.

20 comments:

jiggs said...

chief inspector

jiggs said...

master and commander

jiggs said...

warden

jiggs said...

chancellor

jiggs said...

robot herder

jiggs said...

information cowboy

jiggs said...

sensei

Ookami Snow said...

Lord of the Willing, Conqueror of the Defiant.

-or-

Spongy spongy monkey hop [guy]

sombrero11 said...

Huge Dick


The beauty of that one is, it is open to reader interpretation.

Ɯbermilf said...

I am too offended by your low opinion of me to respond.

Rebecca said...

captain my captain
or
open to suggestions
or
executive aggitator
or
chairmen of the i'm so bored
or
inspector master chairmen owner and operator

i have no clue

Rebecca said...

Director of Mind and Mood

Vice President of Cool

Chief Imagination Officer

Creatologist

Intangible Asset Appraiser

Director of Intellectual

Capital

Visualiser

Storyteller

Chief Enacter

Court Jester

Chief Morale Officer

Goddess of the People

Chief Dreamer

Chief Evangelist

Chief Catalyst

Gun Toting Psycho!

Spiritual Capitalist

Co-ordinator of Synchronicity

Ego Enhancement Consultant

Friction Arrestor

Dream Broker

Misconception Eradicator

Spiritual Fulfillment Counsellor

Chief Fulfiller of Needs

Empressario of Equalities...

Booty J Patrol said...

Jiggs: Nice work.

Ookami: First one is cool, not sure I get the other one.

sombrero: You have titillated my mind.

Milf: I think there is some confusion. I have a very high opinion of you and your cupcakes. I apologize for offending you. Please forgive me.

Rebecca: You tricked me there with that first post, and then totally scored with the second one. Nice.

Lee Ann said...

That whole post was titillating!
Good luck in your new not having that job!

jamwall said...

3 possible spam-inspired titles:

Sr. geyserhole applications developer.

real squirters teens security consultant.

director of girls naked college co-eds don't.

jamwall said...

also booty, are you going to continue to look like a serial killer with the mask, because that could deeply influence your future jog title.

slappy said...

Monkey Enthusiast?

I don't know, I don't think I'll be able to top Jiggs or Rebecca. Information Cowboy is good because then we can make Midnight Cowboy jokes.

miss kendra said...

i knew your secret already! i am SPEESHUL.

Anonymous said...

Captain Success

Chief Underachiever

slappy said...

Vice President of Marketing and Bitches.