Wednesday, January 03, 2007

This week in douchebaggery

My girlfriend just got back from visiting some family in the Jersey farmlands. The neighbors run a free range organic poultry farm: chickens in addition to rich-people birds like pheasant. The birds wander around the farm during the day getting fed organic grains, so they're probably healthier than me - currently typing in a windowless office eating a pop tart.

Well, some animal rights wingnuts decided to free the pheasants. They cut some holes in the barn where the birds were sleeping and released them into rural New Jersey. Unfortunately, these are domesticated birds so they're dumb even by bird standards. They don't know how to feed themselves or avoid predators. The owners can't even recapture the birds because once they leave the farm you can't guarantee the birds are organic-fed. Someone may have given them a pop tart.

So if you live in New Jersey, drop by for some free pheasants before they starve to death.

8 comments:

Diedre said...

Po' pheasants

miss kendra said...

homeless people don't care about organic.

ship those birds this way!

Booty J Patrol said...

I was thinking the same thing as Miss K -- why can't they collect the birds and just sell them as non-organic? At least they'll re-coup (ha!) some of their cost.

slappy said...

I don't think there's enough money in non-organic pheasants to make it worthwhile for them to round up a thousand birds.

But that might be the coolest Eagle Scout project ever. Oh, you stenciled "Do not pour oil" on the sewer grates? Yeah, that's good. Me? I corralled a thousand pheasants and donated them to local soup kitchens.

Tumbleweed said...

Okay, that is sad and funny at the same time. Does Pheasant taste like chicken?

slappy said...

What doesn't?

amera hearts said...

were those wingnuts my parents? they do shit like that all the time.

slappy said...

Were they in Jersey a couple weeks ago?