Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Building a better mousetrap (more fun with google patents) or (i.e. the odor of rotting flesh)

Following slappy's lead, I searched for mousetrap patents which are numerous and are for the most part, all stupid. They range from the earliest, simplest example (1919) I could find to this one which is hilarious in both description and complexity from 2004.

Some excerpts from the latter patent:
Abstract
An apparatus (10) and a method for making an apparatus (10) having a base portion (20) and a plurality of walls (12-18), wherein each of the plurality of walls (12-18) have at least one entry aperture (22), each of which having a certain width (30) which is substantially smaller than the width (51) of a conventional rodent trap (50) and a plurality of identical arcuately shaped extending ridges (24) which traverse the entire periphery of the plurality of walls (12-18), effective to contain a conventional rodent trap (50) and a rodent (100).

and it goes on:
This type of conventional mousetrap or rodent trap suffers from some drawbacks. For example, and without limitation, the force applied to a rodent by the selectively movable bar may rupture the body of the rodent which may project bodily fluids and entrails of the rodent to locations remote of the conventional rodent traps wooden base. The projection of bodily fluids and entrails requires a user of this conventional mousetrap or rodent trap to undesirably clean and disinfect any and all areas which may have come in contact with the bodily fluids and/or entrails.

Moreover, this conventional type of mousetrap or rodent trap may only trap a portion of a rodent. That is, a rodent may jump or partially dodge the selectively movable bar, thereby only getting a portion of the rodent's body, such as a tail or a leg trapped in the conventional mousetrap or rodent trap. In this manner, a rodent may escape from immediate death by dragging the conventional mousetrap or rodent trap to a hidden location. At this time, the rodent may gnaw its own leg or tail off or simply die from the injuries inflicted by the trap or from an infection from the wounds created by the trap or the gnawing off of the rodent's limb. In this manner, the rodent may live and continue to inhabit an area which is undesirable to an individual or may die in an area that the individal can not locate which is also undesirable to an individual. Furthermore, in either case, the rodent's carcass or limb (e.g. leg or tail) will eventually rot, which creates a potential health risk to humans (e.g. the carcass or limb may harbor disease and/or bacterium), creates an unpleasant odor (i.e. the odor of rotting flesh), and may allow for houseflies to lay effs within the carcass or limb, thereby creating a large population of houseflies which may be annoying,...

9 comments:

slappy said...

Brilliant. It's like a little castle for the mousetrap.

Anonymous said...

That's the best thing I've ever read.

I especially liked the part about projecting bodily fluids and entrails.

Tumbleweed said...

That's a riot. I have an apparatus named Bob that allows me to project bodily fluids....but it has more to do with the kitty than a mouse.

Yes, I am warped.....who knew?

scumbag said...

tumbleweed is such a dirty slut.

Anonymous said...

It's like Saw starring Mickey Mouse.

slappy said...

Genius level!

crabcake said...

My box on a stick trap doesn't look nearly so bad now.

Lee Ann said...

I hate rats and mice...but that is very cool!

jamwall said...

they should built this mousetrap like its a TV. that way the whole family can get hours of entertainment watching:

movable bars rupturing the body of the rodent which may "project bodily fluids and entrails of the rodent to locations remote of the conventional rodent traps wooden base."

not to mention the gnawing off of limbs and tails if they survive!