Monday, December 04, 2006

Reunion fun

So I accompanied my girlfriend to her 10th year high school reunion last weekend. It was quite sad, and not even sad relative to normal human events, sad relative to high school reunions. About 40 people showed up out of 500. It was held in a small conference room at a local hotel, with a table of crackers, cheese, and fruit on one end and a bar on the other, with about 5 tables in the middle of the room. It was an open bar for the first hour, and most took full advantage because for each one of the 40 people there, most didn’t want to talk to around 30 of the others.

We showed up right after the end of the open bar, at which point we joined her friends as they staggered out to the car to down some bonus tequila shots. After that they ranged from drunk to doubleplus Irish. The appeal of the hotel dwindled without free booze, so we headed out to a local dive bar. We shouted over blaring 80s music, spilled some drinks, and one girl flashed her panties to the other side of the table. She was at maximum drunkenness while remaining vertical, so it remains unclear if it was accidental.

Then we went to Red Robin’s. I think someone decided that we should go there because one of the girls who couldn’t make it to reunions used to work there in high school. I ordered a milkshake and one of the girls stared at it like it was the monolith from 2001. Flasher girl kept yelling stuff. On a scale from 1 to incoherent, she ranked crazy homeless guy. Somehow we managed to get out of there without being banned for life.

All in all, I'm kind of glad that whoever was organizing my 10th reunion didn't invite me.


Tits McGee said...

That sounds pretty much exactly live my fifth reunion, which, incidentally, was the last reunion I attended.

The Husband said...

does flasher girl need a boyfriend? i'd love to meet her.

miss kendra said...

the few people i would want to see i still talk to, so i probably won't go to mine.

Brookelina said...

I didn't go to any of mine, and I never will.

Monkey said...

I'm with Tits. I can't even remember why I went to the fifth. Maybe someone threatened me with bodily harm.

maximum drunkenness while remaining vertical

This is harder than it looks. There are many genius moments in this post Slappy. Thank you for being the bright spot in my evening.

slappy said...

Tits: Yee hah. Which one were you at your fifth, flasher or milkshake-ogler?

Carl: That could lead to the best "How Mommy Met Daddy" story ever.

Kendra: That's why I decided not to go to mine. The decision was made moot by the lack of invitation.

Brookie: You are the big winner.

Monkey: Thank you. Did you perhaps go to your fifth to fling poo? That would also explain the threats.