Friday, December 15, 2006

Hug a crazy person, Part II: Yahweh Boogaloo

So in August I posted about a doomsday cult predicting nuclear war on September 12, 2006, but also offering free subscriptions. I emailed them in August, and a couple days ago they wrote back!

"May we suggest that you view our video regarding this, at www.yisraylhawkins.com? The video is at the top of the center column on the website, and is entitled "The House of Yahweh Prophecy of 9-12-2006 Fulfilled". You will need a high speed internet connection to watch this online, but possibly could download it with a dialup connection."

Now you may note that the prophecy was claimed to be fulfilled, yet there have been very few nuclear exchanges. Visit the website and they will explain that the "nuclear baby" was conceived on 9/12. I think it has to do with the Israel-Palestine peace plan, but it isn't entirely clear. What is clear is that the "nuclear baby" will be delivered on June 12, 2007. By October 13, 2007, four-fifths of the population will be dead. But at least we've got a nine month extension on our fiery deaths, unless it's a "nuclear premie."

If you have some time, check out the website, it's wonderful. And be sure to check them out again in November 2007 when they announce that the prophecy requires the "nuclear baby" to go to "nuclear kindergarten" and the apocalypse will be delayed until 2011.

13 comments:

Friends of McDougal said...

McDougal is excited by this turn of events. He was unable to secure a nuclear device in time for the September 12th deadline, but with the extension, we should have things up and running in time to participate... No... START the nuclear apocalypse!

If you're gonna go, why not go big? Right?

Friends of McDougal said...

My verification word for that last comment was "qtuepiti" which, I belive, was a mythical Aztec fire-serpent bird.

I take this as a good omen for our nuclear ambitions.

slappy said...

Go big, go long, or go nuke.

You're confusing qtuepiti with qxtxpxxiti. qtuepiti was the Aztec god of quality men's footwear. either way it's a good sign for your nuclear ambitions.

miss kendra said...

nuclear premie!

hehehe!

amera hearts said...

when i first read this i thought of McD and he is the first to comment.

did you watch the video?

nuclear baby? i'm so confused!

slappy said...

Kendra: I'm glad that pleased you. It was a throwaway line I wasn't sure about. I'll bet Jiggs thought it was hackneyed.

Amera: I haven't yet - I don't want to get flagged at work for being a nutjob. Maybe this weekend.

Tumbleweed said...

I will be in the 1 fifth, so I'm not worried....

Nuclear babies smell bad...

Nuclear babies make big messes....

Get those fuckers some birth control!

Jiggs....your eyes are dreamy.

Anonymous said...

I think I have Nuclear Post Partum and feel like hurling these freaks off a bridge.

wv- xfdkoo

Spinning Girl said...

i feeel a joke coming on ... somthing about a nuclear diaper ...

Nick said...

Everything you guys do is hackneyed. That's why I like it. You guys are the nutlow.

slappy said...

Nick: Is that an Omaha 8/b reference?

Whenever one of us posts to the blog, the Benny Hill theme music is playing in our heads.

Anonymous said...

NUCLEAR BABY

WoW ! NUclear Baby, Nu Clear Baby, New Clear Baby.

That would be great but it ain't.

www.yisrealhawkins.com.

Nick said...

Yes.