Thursday, October 19, 2006

Strangling the elderly

I somehow got embroiled in a political campaign with monkey and the feces is hitting the fan. Jamwall has been documenting our vicious campaign with great melodrama. Go to banana blograma to see our campaign ads.

Now with respect to me advocating the strangling seniors, that's an outright lie. No one would be strangling them. Granted, we would be choking them, but not with our hands. Thus it wouldn't be strangling.

Additionally, I do want to regulate sex between consenting adults, it's true. But the regulation I propose is the following: you must let me watch you do it. And in the case where I can't be there because of scheduling conflicts, you must make a video recording of said sexual endeavors and send it to me.

And finally, let me add that I typed this blogpost while dressed as a ballerina.

18 comments:

Monkey said...

Thief! You stole my ballerina costume from the dry cleaners! I should have known..

(Psst... are we running for president or some other office? I still don't know. )

Ɯbermilf said...

I would like to know how each candidate stands on cupcakes.

Also, gin and tonics.

Also, ill-fitting bras.

scumbag said...

vote mcdougal. i'm lost with all this political stuff, but i think i'm gonna run for something too.....

scumbag said...

on second thought, fuck you. i AM running. see if you can stop the the political machine that is The Wedding Party......party.

fuck.

FRITZ said...

If I can see tall, gangly fellows in ballerina costumes with dangly bits tucked INside, thankyouverymuch, I would possibly review my vote.

The Husband said...

can i be involved in your campaign...maybe press secretary or something?

also, where does your party stand on Chicks with Dicks?

slappy said...

I thought you two were running for Supreme Emperor of Awesomeness.

jamwall said...

there's video of me slapping mcdougall in the face with my penis. do you need that footage jiggs?

jamwall said...

that's a good point that you've used your "equal time" while dressed as a ballerina.

we at banana blograma are waiting to hear from the scumbag and mcdougall people to see if they plan on taking advantage of their "equal ballerina time."

when they do, you will be among the first to know and respond, but you must do so while dressed in stilletto heels, a G-string and a bullet bra...

miss kendra said...

a swan lake ballerina? sugar plum fairy?

or just traditional ballerina pink tights and blak leotard?

this is important.

Tits McGee said...

I would like to know how each candidate stands on making out with me while wearing a ballerina costume.

scumbag said...

who's wearing the ballerina costume, tits?

Brookelina said...

Jiggs in a tutu. Rowr!

jiggs said...

monkey: hahaha I stole your ballerina costume! It's so small though that I can barely fit my 3.5 balls into it.

(also, I'm not sure what we're running for. I think it has something to do with the national banana council?)

uebermilf: I am pro cupcakes to the point of disliking cake. I am pro gin and tonics in spite of my general stance against gin and against tonic and I am against ill fitting bras unless they are being worn for the few minutes before coitus.

scumbag: I just might vote for you over myself because I want to continue banging interns... I mean, if I wasn't going to become a priest.

fritz: I'll see what I can do about a ballerina costume pic

carl: you are hereby appointed my press secretary, should I be elected. also, I am pro chicks with dicks, but not without parental consent.

slappy: supreme emperor of awesomeness is an appointed position.

jamwall: any footage of your penis with mcdougal needs to be broadcast. unfortunately, though, I loaned my bullet bra to prince and that a-hole never returned it!

miss kendra: pink tights, black leotards and a tutu

tits: As it's your birthday, I will ignore my priestly training and say that yes, I am pro making out with you while dressed as a ballerina.

scumbag: everyone needs to be wearing a ballerina costume

brookie: in tutu... in situ! wait. that makes no sense.

Rich said...

I've sent my video as requested. A three legged horse is a consenting adult, right?

Lee Ann said...

I wish I had a picture of you in the ballerina outfit!

oh yes...I am glad I made you happy, or at least your browser!
~xo

jiggs said...

rich: only in utah

lee ann: I might give you all a treat and show you a pic of me in a ballerina outfit.

Tits McGee said...

Come and get it, big boy.


Wait.

Are you wearing your tutu?


Good.

::puckers up::