Monday, September 11, 2006

Penis jokes

Today is the 5th year observance of the terrorist acts in NYC and DC. However, people don't come to jiggsblog to think about terrorism.

So in attempt to keep the terrorists from winning, I suggest we talk about euphemisms for the penis. For example, I refer to my penis area as my "junk". But sometimes I go down the austin powers route and refer to it as my bits'n'pieces or my twig'n'two berries.

Today though I learned one that I really like because it sounds so sophisticated and suave: bradford and the pair. I'm totally gonna start using "bradford and the pair" to refer to bradford and the pair.

What other euphemisms do you like? Also, ladies, do you think it's unfair that the junk has such fun euphemisms but the vagina does not? I don't know too many euphemisms for the vagina.


Übermilf said...

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm a virgin.

Tits McGee said...

Umm...shouldn't that be "twig 'n' 3.5 berries" and "bradford, the triplets, and stumpy?"

As for the vagina euphemisms, check this out.

The Husband said...

i refer to mine as Captain Winky.
i don't have a name for my balls.

slappy said...

The monkey and his coconuts?

Kat said...

I lovingly call part of it my button.
And after reading tits' linkage I had forgotten how much I like axe wound sans rusty.

Lee Ann said...

I am with ubermilf on this one!

I have heard them referred to as
"the boys".

I think you should make up something for the girls...other than apple pie!

Nick said...

I call mine Chester Cheetah. It's got orange stripes.

miss kendra said...

i call a penis "the good part."

i'm bitter. this could last a while.

jamwall said...

osama calls his penis "god"

so when he says that "god is great" he's not actually talking about allah.

Übermilf said...

My doctor, Harry Nutsack, says the scientific term is "two munchkins and a long john."

Spinning Girl said...

Penis euphemisms I have used:

Lars the mighty
Mr. McNightly
Señor Pokenstick

Vagina euphemisms I have used:

The Peach
The Caves of Knowledge and Enlightenment

jiggs said...

uebermilf: now I want your cupcakes all the more

tits: how could I forget that I have 3.5 balls?

carl: captain winky... is that because he only has one eye?

slappy: I think I thought of one that no one has used: steak 'n' eggs

kat: i had forgotten about the classic "cooch". but I also like "bacon strip".

lee ann: I like to call the vagina the "fudge-ina" though some point out that that name could be confused with the pooper.

nick: is that because you eat cheetos and jerk off?

miss kendra: I'm not sure I get it. good in comparison to the vagina? Do you have penis envy?

jamwall: that osama! what a douchebag

uebermilf: that's funny, my doctor is named "harry nutbag"!

spinner: do you call your vagina "henrietta" to sound old-timey?

Spinning Girl said...

Mmm, I think it's a reference to Henrietta Pussycat. Not sure; it came out of nowhere.