Saturday, September 23, 2006

Men’s styles

For women, there is pretty much one way for them to urinate – sitting down. Ok, there are some websites that talk about how to pee standing up and sites that sell tools, but let’s face, it ain’t natural. However, men learn to pee standing up pretty much from the beginning. So it is interesting to note the different styles of technique. There is the two-hand on the Johnson technique, or the alternate one-handed method, where you use one hand to hold your clothes out of the way. There is the two-hands-on-the-hip-and-stare-at-your-Johnson method. It’s as if you’re saying to your wang, “Ok wang, I’m watching you; don’t piss anywhere that I wouldn’t want you to. That’s a good boy.” And lastly, there is the no-handed method, usually reserved for hippies and drunks. Did I miss any?

9 comments:

Monkey said...

The boy peed outdoors for the first time last weekend. We were all so proud.

Kat said...

Actually, lots of females are straight shooters and could pee standing up if they needed to. Me. No. I sit.

slappy said...

You stare at your junk while peeing? That's weird.

Monkey: Was that in a park, while hiking, or in a Walmart? I'm not sure which I would consider coolest. Peeing in public is always fun.

Lee Ann said...

I think you better keep your hands on the wheel while driving! ;)

Monkey said...

Slappy: It was in the backyard! But we hope to see him graduate to the park and while hiking soon.

The Husband said...

what about one hand on your wang and one on the wall in front of you?

Booty J Patrol said...

Moneky: Your human is a good mom for teaching the boy such an important life skill.

Kat: Really? I thought even if you are a straight shooter it'll dribble down at the end.

Slappy: No, I don't generally stare at my junk. It was just one of the many styles I know of.

Lee Ann: Yes, you're right. Two hands on the wheel is always safest.

Monkey: The backyard? Does that mean you and all the other male animals are going to try and mark that spot now too?

Carl: Ah yes! How could I forget the "I'm so drunk I can't even hold myself up"?

The Husband said...

i just took a piss and have one for you...i held my wang with one hand and had the other in my pocket. i guess that is the metro-sexual casual style.

Kat said...

Booty- surprisingly no. Some gals got all the right muscle control.