Thursday, September 21, 2006

Jiggsblog Travelogue: New Mexico

Last week I went to Los Alamos to discuss a possible postdoc. Don't think I'm headed out there, but they're doing good work. The best time in your life to go to Los Alamos to work is when you never have to leave Los Alamos. It's a two hour drive from civilization, where civilization is defined as Albuquerque. But I decided to make the first entry in the Jiggsblog Travelogue, your guide to the outside world.

New Mexico is the Land of Enchantment, which means that they have the highest number of Renaissance Faires per capita in the USA.

The largest city is Albuquerque, best known for being the place Bugs Bunny should have taken a left at. There you can fly into the Albuquerque International Sunport, which is like an airport except 40% more pretentious sounding. The capital of New Mexico is Santa Fe because no one can spell Albuquerque.

Blessed with a large Native American population and vast open tracts of reservation land, New Mexico boasts a booming gaming industry. In fact, much like how in the Northeast distances can be measured in Dunkin Donuts franchises, in New Mexico you can travel by Indian casinos. For example, you can say it's 60 miles from Albuquerque to Santa Fe, or you can say it's 12 casinos.

If you like using Google Maps, turn on the satellite view and try to zoom in on Los Alamos National Laboratory. As you get closer to the town, first Google blurs out the map, then they report "No data at this zoom level", and finally the FBI puts you on their files.


Monkey said...

I'm already in the FBI files. I'm a seditious monkey.

Lee Ann said...

I didn't know Bugs was supposed to do that!

miss kendra said...

seditious! the chancellor will have none of that!

if what you say is true, my cleavage functions in much the same way as this laboratory. i'm impressed that the government has acheived such a high level of security. my cat must have sold the secrets.

i was in bed last night, thinking of jiggsblog, and it suddenly occured to me that i needed to show slappy and tasty some love, seeing as i haven't actually seen them lately.


consider yourself loved.

slappy said...

Monkey: As long as you're not a terror monkey. I wouldn't want to have to worry about you ending up in Gitmo.

Lee: Yup, Bugs often was supposed to make a left turn at Albuquerque, like when he and Daffy tried to ge to Pismo Beach and ended up finding the genie instead. Sometimes he may have needed to take a left turn at Cucamonga.

Kendra: I feel the love. Feels good.

Your security procedures are impressive - the geosynchronous satellite Jiggsblog launched to monitor your cleavage has been jammed for months.

The Husband said...

i used to sell stuff to the DOE and los alamos used to be a client of mine. some weird stuff goes on there. however, i recently saw something that the average per capita income is over 90k. my question is what the fuck does one do after work in that town? go straight to the casino's? perhaps the local applebees for happy hour?

Monkey said...

I feel safe in the bosom of Kendra.

amera hearts said...

I love google earth.

New Mexico always reminds me of the song in Newsies, "Santa Fe......"

scumbag said...

new mexico is for gooks.

slappy said...

Carl: As far as I can tell, employees either get involved in outdoor sports or staying at home with the kids. Compulsive gambling probably makes security clearance difficult.

Monkey: I'd go with a different adjective, but that's cool.

Amera: When I first downloaded Google Earth I found myself using it for hours at a time.

Scum: Is that a clever Wen Ho Lee reference?

Brookelina said...

The capital of New Mexico is Santa Fe because no one can spell Albuquerque.

That made me snort.

The Husband said...

slappy...what about compulsive masturbation?

slappy said...

Brookelina: Snorts make me happy. Snarfs make me proud.

Carl: Well, there's one of the highest concentrations of PhDs located in Los Alamos, so... yes. Like deranged monkeys.