Thursday, August 03, 2006

Q:How do you titillate and ocelot?

A: You oscillate its tit alot!!!!

That's the funniest joke I have ever heard!!!

Also, Tasty and I were thinking that if we had a stick with chewing gum on it, we would always be able to get marbles out of lenny kravitz. Or any kravitz for that matter.

Tasty is a fucking genius. Using this old computer, he made this crazy machine that lets us pause and rewind live TV! We're thinking of selling them under the name "TIVO"!

The sam jackson link is no longer working!


Übermilf said...

When God talks to me, I hear Samuel L. Jackson's voice.

Specifically when I complain to Him about world events and George W. Bush. He says, "Hell, no! What did that damn fool do now? I oughta smite his ass."

Tumbleweed said...

Do not open my blog at work.....just sayin!

The Husband said...

i always like the high level of comedy found on this blog.

fyi, today marks the third day in a row of 100 degree temperatures.

the heat is messing with my head. lastnight i contemplated cutting my balls off.

Kat said...

If masturbation is like procrastination, what happens when you procrastinate masturbating?

miss kendra said...

do the kravitzes have many marbles? also, he seems fairly reasonable, you might just be able to ask.

he would probably share.

slappy said...

Kat: Tension and irritability.

Carl: We're high concept dick joke. Like Family Guy except we suck. And cutting your balls off won't help the heat. Soaking them in ice might help, and they'd help with masturbation procrastination as well.

Tumble: Woo.

Uber: One of the main reasons I love the Boondocks cartoon series is the use of Sam Jackson to voice a young, rich, white punk.

Tits McGee said...

I require oscillation.

amera hearts said...

I feel very guilty about saying the word queer yesterday. I was joking, but I felt like it gave the wrong impression. Arg. So my life goes!

Carl - quit your bitching. In LA, it gets 100+ all the time. Oh and don't cut your balls off....but if you do, can you mail them to a friend of mine? He doesn't have any.

Okay, have a good weekend!

Übermilf said...

Fucking bringing boss over for dinner tonight! Fucking three baskets of unfolded laundry! Fucking messy basement! Fucking Barbie clothes everywhere! Fucking box of unfiled papers! Fucking head full of fucking snot from my fucking allergies! Fucking I need to take a shower! Fucking leg shaving! Fucking newspapers need to be recycled, and fucking plastic grocery bags, too! Fuck it all!

Sorry, I needed a safe place to rant.

Übermilf said...

I feel better now.

I cancelled my afternoon plans.

Now I can get everything done.

You don't have to worry anymore.

Tits McGee said...

Poor Übie!

Let's all help her fold the laundry.

Nick said...

screw her and her laundry

scumbag said...

laundry is for gooks. seriously! i swear everytime i go to a laundrymat or dry cleaning place it's ran by a bunch of slopes.

jiggs said...

uebermilf: God talks to you? That's something you and bush have in common.

tumbleweed: woot indeed.

carl: I have thought about cutting some subset of my 3.5 balls off. Of course, I'd keep stumpy.

kat: DVDA

miss kendra: I only use a stick and chewing gum to attain marbles from a kravitz.

slappy: thanks for covering for me

tits: I know you do. MEEEOW!

amera: don't worry about it. We all mel gibson it up sometimes. Also, it's only thursday! Usually people say have a great weekend on friday.

uebermilf: in goes the good air out goes the bad air. Come here to scream and shout. That's what we're here for.

tits: I wish I had the long distance laundry folding superpower

nick: you're an a-hole

scumbag: what are you an observational comic now? chiefs suck.

TastyMcJ said...

I think you can also osculate it a lot, btw.

jamwall said...

i touched lenny's marbles.

i'm just sayin...

Lee Ann said...

I don't know whether or not I feel titillated or oscillated!
Strangely I have this song playing in my head I'm crazy for this little lady I'm freaking for
my little baby 'Cause she makes me feel good
...maybe that is why confusion has set in.

LEE ANN said...

You didn't come see me this
...just sayin!

jiggs said...

tasty: good diction

jamwall: you perv!

lee ann: if it's done right, you should feel both. Also I didn't know about your other blog. I just visited.