Friday, August 18, 2006

Motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane indeed

WOW.

I mean. Just. Wow.

I can’t begin to even put into words how FANGtastic Snakes on a Plane was.

The biting. The violence. The snakes.

Samuel Motherfucking L. Jackson.

I mean…I knew it was going to be good, but even I had my fears.

Fortunately, those fears were as far from accurate as Hawai'i is from a desert blacksnake’s native habitat.

I shant go into any details here, lest I spoil the film.

All I will say is that I watched the first 20 minutes of the movie with my mouth hanging open, lower lip quivering with anticipation. The last hour and 26 minutes was a fast paced ride that never disappointed, and I was thoroughly satisfied when I walked out of the theatre.

If you're worried, saying... Tasty, you liked the first :20 ...you liked the last 1:26 .. but what about the middle portion of the film? Did it drag slowly like a boa constrictor after a full meal?

Haha, I say! But the total run time is 1:46!!!! The whole fucking movie is awesome!!!!! SNAP!!!!

I think tomorrow I’m going to get the Snakes on a Plane logo tattooed on my chest.

Go see it. You'll want one too. Then we can share pictures on the blog.

21 comments:

jiggs said...

I saw it with tasty and I concur wholeheartedly with everything that he said.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Why? It just seems so lame. It's snakes, on a plane, for 106 minutes. How interesting could the plot be?

The Husband said...

i'm going to see it tonight. i really think it looks retarded but hopefully i'm wrong.

i want to get a tatoo of a snake on my penis so that when i stroke it venom/sperm will shoot out!

Tits McGee said...

The only snake I care about is the one in Jiggs' pants.

Lee Ann said...

It looks frightening to me! Scary scary scary.

Carl, someone sent me a picture of a guy with a dragon tattoo...
UNBELIEVABLE! It is a vision I cannot get out of my head.

slappy said...

Tits also cares about Jiggs's penis, but that little garter snake he keeps in his pants is adorable.

TastyMcJ said...

Jiggs: Indeed

Pixie: As interesting as the mating rituals of the burmese python (i.e. fucking insanely awesome!)

Carl: Snakes on a Wang!!!!!!!!!

Tits: While I appreciate your passion, I feel that you're missing out on a world of totally awesome reptile bad-asses that aren't Jiggs' trouser snake.

Lee Ann: I actually jumped more during this movie than I did during The Descent, which isn't really saying much. But there is gratuitous violence.

Slappy: Indeed. That Lil' Scaly is one adorable motherfuckin' snake.

miss kendra said...

i want to see it SO BAD.

also, i will be in the SF area next weekend?

TastyMcJ said...

Kendra: Exciting. I will be hiking on Angel Island probably all day on the 26th, but I should be around that night; Jiggs will likely be around.

Nick said...

I KNEW IT WOULD BE RAD! Yes!

amera hearts said...

snakes creep me out so i won't be seeing this film.

BUT

i do like mr. jackson, so i might rent it. i just need to find a guy that will cuddle with me, oh and let me squeeze his hand off when i get scared.

ps. i was in the bay area for two days and didn't see jiggs or tasty. hm.

Spinning Girl said...

Hmmm, I think I need a little more convincing.

Ricardo Montalbán said...

Spinner's back!

miss kendra said...

i redecorated!

Kat said...

jiggs. you didn't. no. it can't be good. it's stupid and ridiculous...it's stupid and ridiculous...i will not succumb to curiosty, lest my heart be broken again!

Brookelina said...

I hate snakes!

rethwyll said...

Motherfucking SNAKES! A non-stop thrill-ride, absolutely. Greatest movie of the summer, hands down -- even better than Superman Returns!! :)

The Husband said...

dude,

i just got back from Snakes on Mutha Fuckin' Plane...unfucking believable. i know, like most of you i thought it was going to be 100% retarded...but man was i wrong. one of the best movies i've seen. i give it an 8 out of 10. that juliana margolies is one hot piece of ass. how about that one scene where the snake bites off the girls boob? and then there's the dude who gets his crank bitten off! yikes! what a mutha fuckin' movie!

Übermilf said...

I'm more concerned about the crabs in Jiggs's pants.

Nick said...

spam

Vote in my poll. Please.

/spam

miss more said...

Why, oh why didn't I read the sarcasm?