Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Hug a crazy person

So I found a newsletter on my windshield the other day. It's from the House of Yahweh, which is like the House of Pain except they don't suck. I don't want to call them a fringe Christian group, so let's call them a special Christian group. They're based in Abilene, Texas, which they explain is due west of Abilene, Israel. Abilene is also 180 miles west of Waco.

What caught my eye was the headline "Nuclear War to Start September 12, 2006." On the left sidebar of the front page: "Free Subscription."

So I wrote them this email:

Dear House of Yahweh,

I recently received your April 2006 issue "Nuclear War to Start Septmber 12, 2006". I am interested in a subscription to your newsletter, but I am concerned that I will not receive the September issue. Will you continue to print once nuclear war breaks out among the nations of the world? Also, I live in Boston. Do you forsee the survival of my city in the great war? I am concerned that I might be incinerated in a fireball of plutonium, and if you have any advice on how I can survive the great war, it would be greatly appreciated.

I remain your faithful servant,
Peter Rjinswand


I'll keep you posted if I get a reply.

23 comments:

amera hearts said...

yahweh=jesus so house of jesus or is it god? house of god? arg. i grew up a jehovah's witness and they always use the word yahweh.

Nick said...

Genius.

Tits McGee said...

Damn it! I had a pedicure scheduled for September 12th!

slappy said...

Perhaps the Official Jiggsblog Jew (or Deputy Jew Kendra) can help me on this, but I believe Yahweh and Jehovah are two translations for the Hebrew God.

I'm hoping this is the start of a series of Jiggsbloggers trying to contact crazy people via email.

slappy said...

Tits: Just find out if the stylist has a bomb shelter in her basement.

Booty J Patrol said...

Yahweh is the way you write the word for God in hebrew. It's not how you say the word for God though.

Spinning Girl said...

That is so fabu.

jamwall said...

i painted the interior of my condo with "plutonium fireball-resistant" paint.

The Husband said...

slappy,

do you really live in boston? do you know anyone who works at fidelity?

allison said...

let me go ahead and fill you in on Abilene Texas.

THE PEOPLE THERE ARE F-ING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!

make the rest of us Texans look retarded.

miss kendra said...

booty is correct.. yahweh is the transliteration approach to yud hay vav hay, the four letters used to represent god in writing. it's essentially a pile of hebrew vowels, meant to approximate the sound of inhalation and exhalation. because god is your breath, because breath is your life.

WOW! i'm smart.

also, this blog's tagline is missing an apostrophe.

Tumbleweed said...

I have not posted an

I HEART YOU! lately....it was time.

amera hearts said...

man, it's getting spriritual up in this joint?!?!?!

i remember as a kid i would see yahweh written down, but J Dub's use Jehovah mainly. My grandfather who use to be strict irish catholic came to the usa and became some weird sect of christianity and now he says yahweh all the time. weird.

oh yeah and i'm going to see munic this week. any one have any opinions? should i see or not see?

jiggs said...

miss kendra: where should the apostrophe go?

miss kendra said...

oh.

yeah.

nevermind. i used up all my smart on yahweh.

Ɯbermilf said...

Hey! Your blog ate my comment!

WTF?

Lee Ann said...

Haven't heard of that group. I definitely want to hear their response. :)

slappy said...

See, I told you our Blog Jews would enlighten us.

Carl: Yes, but no. I don't know a whole lot of non-engineers.

Jam: I'm glad Home Depot started carrying the Apocalypse-resistant line of paint and aluminum siding.

Allison: I'd watch out, they seem to be a holy city. Or something.

Lee Ann: I'm hoping they respond too.

Kat said...

So brilliant I need my sunglasses at night.

Nick said...

I love when Jiggs gets out commented by his underlings.

No offense.

Booty J Patrol said...

Underlings? UNDERLINGS? WTF!?

jiggs said...

nick: underlings? FOR SHAME! As for you enjoying it when the other jiggsbloggers get more comments than me, it makes sense that that is the case because I'm the quantity guy and they are the quality guys.

Nick said...

I said "no offense". Jesus.