Friday, May 05, 2006

Friday Grab Sack

I mean grab bag... Like I would know anything about grabbing sack. I mean, I'm not Nick.

Anywho, a few days ago I was about to cross the street (in the sidewalk) when right as I'm about to step off the curb, a prius plows right through the crosswalk to make a right turn, never even looking at me. It pissed me off real good. I wish I had shouted, "just cuz you drive a hybrid doesn't mean that you're a good person, you whore!"

I was walking around today singing The Smiths, "girlfriend in a coma". And then it occurred to me, one could easily change the lyrics to: "girlfriend with a boner, I know, I know. It's serious." Which is true. Having a girlfriend with a boner is a serious issue. Unless you're into that.



GrandPooOfAwesome said...

I'm so into that.

I (heart) The Smiths.

That's Mr. McDougal, to you, punk said...

Did you wake up high today? What the fuck is wrong with you, Jiggs Casey. That uppity Prius driver saw you on the sidewalk, sized you up, and deemed your life less valuable than a pint of gas.

What? That's how I buy gas. By the pint. That's right. Are you typing this? Don't type this. I'm talking to you now. Don't type what I say to you. Type what I say to him. Jiggs Casey, that's who. Don't fuck with me on this, newbee. I'm half cra - What? You're talking back.

I'll break your godda

NYWO LTseni hear you MOtherfcucker! I'mam trying to tell you something, Jiggs Casey (TM). these hyrbid drivers judge you. they judge the woRld as inferior as thye drive round in there 440 pint per gallon vehix and they see you fucking WALKING. Why aren't you saving gas by driving a plutonium drive doubleshafter like them? that's what they want to know. and they say "must be a gas guzzler -- walking to his suv."

And they try to kill you.

These pepel are moles. Plants. They're not even from this planet. They're most likely from the moon. Maybe Jupiter (the most gaseous planet) and they have the audacity to judge you.

She wanted you dead.

And she is an emema of the state.

And they taste like delicious gas marinated cheiken.

Seriously. Did you get her plates?

I'll kill her.

Now fetch me another dictation specialist.

Nick said...

IS this because of the penis comment on Ubie's blog?

Übermilf said...

Mr. McDougal, to whom may I send my resumé? Working for you would bring me much joy.

Oh, and Jiggs? I was going to say yes to the toe ring. We would've been very happy together.

But Dilf's not really into that kind of thing. He's more of a "be surrounded by women" kind of guy.

Nick said...

It looks like McBungle finally got herself a typist with some chutzpah.

Nick said...

Stop interrupting me, Ubie.

Tits McGee said...

You had me at "grab sack."

scumbag said...

you're right jiggs. about what, i have no idea.

Lilly said...

The Smiths -- helped me through those teenage years! Morrissey, I believed, was god.

Jiggs, you talk some amount of pish -- that's why I keep coming back for more :-D

miss kendra said...

if you ARE into that, i totally know some people.

and places actually.

neighborhoods really.

jiggs said...

poof: I like the smiths, but part of that liking is the general sense of amusement I get when I listen to the smiths.

mr. mcd: you're right. I can't believe that I didn't put this together before. That uppity alien prius driver/spy from jupiter did have it in for me. For next week, I'm submitting new legislation to the solar consortium on how to use Martian ore as fuel. Those Jupiterian bastards won't know what hit em when Martian ore is in the hizzy.

I want an enema from the state.

nick: Everybody knows you like to grab sack. Also, what comment on ubie's blog about my penis?

uebermilf: polygamy isn't everyone's cup of tea.

nick: Is mcBungle the new mcdonalds sandwich that never will have what you wanted on it? Also it might come with a finger.

tits: you heart sack grabbing.

scumbag: I have the same feeling about myself every day.

lilly: If morrissey was god, then all of us straight meat eaters would be in trouble. Additionally, when did you start speaking scottish?

sassafras: Chicks with dicks are pretty hip these days, I hear. So are men with vajayjays.

Übermilf said...

For the record, Morrisey has reported himself to be "asexual."

Nick said...

Jiggs, you can find the comment in question here.

Nick said...

Also, McBungle is the name I have given McDougal, but I like your definition too.

Lee Ann said...

Wow, first thing....this morning I was walking in the parking lot at my office building and just as I was about to cross the street to the sidewalk, a girl driving (if you can say that)a toyota, came flying around the curve to make a right turn into the next entrance of the parking lot, just barely missing me! I jumped back and at the very same moment I stretched my arm out and pointed in her face! If I had not been right outside my building, I would have also shouted for her to slow down, but she definitely got the message after I pointed at her because she stomped on her brakes. I was hoping to see her on the elevator, I would have said something to her.

Lilly said...

LOL LOL @ Jiggs. True :-)
Scottish -- ahck, ah dinnae ken. Around 2000-ish; I guess. That's when I moved to Edinburgh; and as you know by now, I pick up bits and bobs where ever I go....

jamwall said...

there is a song by "the replacements" called "gary's got a boner" here