Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Tasty is coming back tomorrow!


He has been gone. It has been sad and lonely. Since he been gone.

Can't you see how I'm vulnerable!?!?!

I have feelings, you know. I'm not some kind of douchebag that doesn't have feelings.

I wrote the following as a comment on Nick's blog. It amused me. And so I want to share it with you:

I think masturbation is a great way to like yourself a little more.

Sometimes I like to masturbate in a special way with candles and scented massage oils. Other times, I will take myself out to dinner, let myself order the lobster AND a steak and then take myself home and ravage myself.

Good times.


Spinning Girl said...

I usually send flowers too, just to butter me up.

Nick said...

You're a genius of the highest caliber, for sure.

Horny Old Guy said...

As Woody Allen says to Diane Keaton in "Annie Hall", "Don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love!" Truer words were never said Woodman! May is National Masturbation Month (really!) so let's all join in the festivities!

The Husband said...

dude, i'm right there with you. there is nothing wrong with wining and dining yourself and then ending the evening with some fun masturbation. the only thing missing is if you could suck your own crank. i guess i'll have to continue to use my hands.

Lee Ann said...

Sounds like good times Jiggsy!

miss kendra said...

i jsut punch me in the face and then send me flowers and say it will never happen again. that usually gets me all warmed up.

(i won't tell about your "feelings.")

Tumbleweed said...

I am so going to try that. I have been a bit standoffish lately.

allison said...

poor old lonely Jiggsy.

I'm happy Tasty's headed home. Sounds like you really miss him.

Nick said...

Jiggs gave me a shout out and shit. He big upped me.

jiggs said...

spinner: good idea. I'll keep that in mind when I try to bed you one day.

nick: true. The highest caliber in fact. 350 mm. That last number was the size of my penis, not my caliber.

horny old guy: I concur. Workers of the world masturbate!

carl: You're an expert at what you do, Carl. An expert.

lee ann: it's always a good time. masturbation is like pizza.

miss k: nothin like a joke about domestic abuse. Especially by a woman... Have I recently told you that I heart you? I do.

tumbleweed: There's nothing more sad than when a person and their genitalia aren't into each other anymore.

AP: Shhh. Don't tell anyone that I miss him.

jiggs said...

nick: I enjoy big upping you. You pervert.

miss kendra said...

i heart you too!

i think i might be able to swing vegas- i've got a little surprise money coming (i hope).

you better start training now.

slappy said...

Miss Kendra might be in Vegas? Hmm. Hey Booty - we may need to save up some bail money for Jiggs.

miss kendra said...

for all of you.

i am non discriminatory in my antics.

slappy said...

Hey Booty - we may need to save up "We got arrested and deported to Guatemala" money.

Booty J Patrol said...

Booty just had to pay his tax bill, so Booty don't got no money left for a while. Booty hopes that his company's earnings are good so he can sell some stock options to get some gambling money.

jiggs said...

training! I don't even know what that means, but I like it!

I should make a shirt that says "I got arrested and deported to guatemala."

slappy said...

I like that with an "again" at the end of the line.