Friday, February 17, 2006

New Jiggscasey.com Article: Ending American Oil Dependence

Ending American Oil Dependence
James "Bumpy" Johnson returns with a modest proposal to end America's addiction to foreign oil. It's this kind of brave, outside the box thinking that makes JiggsCasey.com the best source for cutting-edge energy research. We have some engineers on staff, and although they were high at the time, they assured us that this plan would work. Enjoy it, douchebags.

13 comments:

SignGurl said...

Jiggs, you are a genious! Peace activists blood for oil....why didn't I think of that?

Joe said...

LOL

Tumbleweed said...

yea, right.

miss kendra said...

this was very informative.

i myself am not a peace activist, so i feel ok about this at the moment.

if you start going after smart girls with enormous boobs though, i might have to speak up.

Fred said...

clever.

no wait, the other one, stupid.

Everest said...

thought-provoking.

Zombie Lou said...

Perhaps Lou Reed stuttered when he informed Mr. Casey of his desire for men to fill roles without such titles as "Blow Job King" or "Hoover". Lou Reed is filling out ranks in his new army and Lou Reed wants you to be his right hand man.

Lou Reed used to employ this Laotian man whose nickname on the streets was Flowbee.

jiggs said...

signgurl: some people are understandably uncomfortable with murder.

joe: true dat

tumbles: word

miss k: smart girls with enormous boobs are America's most valuable resource and if anything, they might be endangered and should be protected by the government at all costs.

freddy: I think you mean "genius level"

everest: word

lou reed: now I understand. It's time for me to accept my new vocation: dick sucker.

Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed thinks that you are missing the point, Mr. Casey. Lou has many mnay men lined up for miles to satisfy him orally, what I desire is to have a lieutenant in his army that he can count for things other than mouth-to-groin resuscitation. This man is you Jiggs Casey.

I can hear colors.

Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed was so messed up when he wrote that he spoke in the first person twice. Lou Reed is destroying his own legend.

Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed, FTW.

jiggs said...

Lou: I understand now. You're looking for a right hand-job man for your army of dicksuckers. I'll do it as long as I can take frequent naps.

Also, did you know that there is neural disorder called synesthesia in which people hear colors? They aren't technically hearing the color since colors don't cause sound waves, but their brains are wired in such a way as seeing a color could set off the part of the brain associated with sound.

Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed did know that. Females and non-right-handers predominate, the trait is familial, and memory is superior while math and spatial navigation suffer. This is why Lou Reed has never been able to subtract Jiggs Casey from his mind.