Monday, February 20, 2006

Like a phoenix made out of ribs

Me, Tasty, and the new housemate went to Tony Romas where I ate a 1/3 of an onion loaf, a salad, a baked potato with all the shit on it and a full rack of baby back ribs. After eating all of that, I was pretty full. So full that I felt like I was going to temporarily vaporize into the ether and then reappear at some other point in the timeline to eat another rack of ribs.

Tasty then pointed out that I would be like a phoenix made out of ribs that ate itself until it died only to be reborn with another full rack of ribs so that it could eat itself.

Such a phoenix would probably be delicious. I bet it would taste even better than a turducken or a McRib sandwich.


Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed eats turducken and phoenix for breakfast.

Then Lou Reed throws it back up.

Lou Reed is looking chunky these days.

Lee Ann said...

A ribeating Phoenix!?! I want to watch you disintegrate into ash (I wonder if you would smell like barbeque burning on the grill)... then be reborn with that cute little chirping sound!
It is amazing how many people outside of the south like barbeque. I live in the south, but do not like barbeque (isn't that supposedly a southern thing?)

Nick said...

Dude... neverending Cue. Gotta get me some of that.

jiggs said...

lou reed: lou reed must know that what he's doing isn't healthy.

lee ann: I think you might be the first person that has wanted me to turn to ash. I don't think bbq is purely a southern thing anymore. There are quite a few barbeque places out here besides Tony Romas.

nick: of course the drawback to neverending cue is the periodic disintegration.

Spinning Girl said...

mmm, I can't wait to add "phoenix" to the list of meats I have eaten.

Fred said...

hmm. you guys must be high. its the only explanation. wheres calzone? di you offend him? if not, why not? what the hell. i miss the kfc smokey blue

Tumbleweed said...

Nothing tastes better than a McRib!

miss kendra said...

there doesn't seem to be a good rib place in LA and so i am wasting away.

jamwall said...

i love phoenix. you can burn the little bastard, then when it rises, you can shoot it down and eat it!

The Husband said...

dude...i can't believe you ate all that crap. you must have had a massive turd.

TastyMcJ said...

I don't know about Jiggs... but the presence of the onion loaf in that mix tends to...well...let's just say...'break things up'

So I myself prefer the term 'massive shit' as it carries none of the consistency implications inherent in 'massive turd'.

But, yes, he did eat nearly 2x as much as me, so I'm sure a massive something will be in order.

jiggs said...

spinner: phoenix would be good to eat because after you digest it, it would be reborn, possibly in your stomach to be digested again.

freddy: we weren't high when we thought of that. It was just rib endorphins. As for calzone, he just needed to take a break.

tumbleweed: true dat

miss k: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Especially not the boobs.

jamwall: I love killing things multiple times.

carl: The turd hasn't happened yet. But it will... DOOM!

tasty: I'm currently fighting the power of the onion loaf with almonds.

The tony roma's meal was so filling that I didn't get hungry again until 11AM today. That's like a 16 hour fullness.

Monkey said...

Every day I am amazed at your mind, and your appetite.

Ɯbermilf said...

Would you still have to wipe yourself off with those little Handi-Wipes they give you?

Friends of McDougal said...

What if you stuffed the McRib into a turducken and wrapped it in bacon ... then deep fried it in canola oil?

There's nothing wrong with that, I wouldn't think

jiggs said...

monkey: what about my appetite for minds? mmm brains

uebermilf: you could in theory just wait for the phoenix to vaporize

friends of mcdougal: genius level