Friday, January 13, 2006

Ode to Calzone upon Calzone's demise (Replay)

In honor of Calzone's wake on monkey's blog today, I'm just keeping this post up.

Instead of masturbating outside of Booty's window in Calzone's honor (as he asked of me), I recorded a little song for our little friend. Perhaps it can be played at his wake. Here are the lyrics:

I know a little dragon
named after a favorite pasta dish of mine
He's got a problem with women's shoes
and talks about them all the time

Calzone
He's a silly little dragon
Calzone
He's a douche but we love him
Calzone Calzone Calzone
Calzone Calzone Calzone

He borrowed 15 grand
to buy five pounds of weed
He spent it all on tracksuits
and now he lying dead

Calzone
He's a silly little dragon
Calzone
He's a douche but we love him
Calzone Calzone Calzone
Calzone Calzone Calzone

Do not go softly into that gentle night!

36 comments:

Nick said...

I'm weeping over here. Weeping.

miss kendra said...

that was moving.

once our period of mourning has been completed, i totally Demand more songs.

Demand with a capital D.

jiggs said...

nick: I always start crying when someone else cries! damn you.

miss k: I will look into more songs.

Brookelina said...

You know what the best part of that song is? With a few word changes and after a suitable mourning period, you can sell it to Pizza Hut as a jingle.

Are there going to be snacks at the funeral?

Oh...and psssssst...it's do not go gentle into that good night...but I'm sure Dylan Thomas won't mind the subtle word change.

jiggs said...

I don't like to quote. I like to paraphrase.

Brookelina said...

You da man.

Lee Ann said...

Jiggs,
He would be proud, you did a fine job with the song.
I am so terribly sad...just beside myself :*(

scumbag said...

i don't mean to rain shit on this whole situation, but is larin dead too? dude, i can't deal with anymore losses. first we (meaning our blog) lost our buddy white devil. now calzone, and possibly larin? what's next? am i gonna find out johnny cash is dead too!?!

J to the fucking C said...

Aw, cheer up. Somebody loves you!

Veronica said...

That was beautiful...I'll miss him, his cock was huge

Bill the Apostle said...

Jesus aint shitting you, he loves you

Spinning Girl said...

Kleenex!

I call for a Kleenex brand nasal tissue!

Please, somebody!

Lee Ann said...

Hey Veronica, I have seen you somewhere before!

jiggs said...

brooke: that's right. I am da man.

lee ann: thanks lee ann

capn: I dunno what happened to Larin. Hopefully she's too drunk to blog. But you're right about bloggers dropping like flies. Don't worry about Johnny Cash. He will always live on in our hearts.

j to the esus, veronica, bill: you all remind me of someone... Who could it be...

spinerina: In the words of Guns 'n' Roses "Don't you cry"

lee ann: I hear that.

Tumbleweed said...

Oh geez, I'm even hotter for you than before. I love a man that can sing! I'm gonna change my panties now. Oops, I forgot we were mourning for Calzone....poor Dragon. Can you sing "Calzone the Magic Dragon" now? I could send you the lyrics.

Bill the Apostle said...

Tumbleweed is going to Hell

Nick said...

Dude I would totally have sex with that Veronica chick. Like all night long.

Tumbleweed said...

Bill: Like I said before....you first!

Tumbleweed said...

Dragon better not reincarnate as a girl, I will be so pissed! I'm gonna go over there and tell him right now!

jamwall said...

i made sweet sweet love with veronica all night long.

she fucking stole my wallet though..

jiggs said...

tumbleweed: if you send me the lyrics to calzone the magic dragon, I just might one of these days sing it.

nick & jamwall: why does everyone want to do it with veronica

tumbleweed: if calzone gets reincarnated as a girl, that would be a naughty girl indeed.

Fred said...

that selfish dragon. i'm sorry he's dead thouugh. jiggs i think he was named after a pizza, not pasta.

its my birthday. its not going to be a happy one.

i miss you dragon!

Fred said...

i like your song jiggs. you don't sound like a ginge.

Tumbleweed said...

I get the impression Fred is a perfectionist, but he does like his pussy!

I think people find something familiar and comforting in Veronica's eyes. I want her too!

Tumbleweed said...

Oh, I'll get right on those lyrics for ya baby!

Fred said...

oh my veronica! what big eyes you have...

Tumbleweed said...

I sent you some cheesy lyrics, hope you got 'em!

Friends of McDougal said...

Jesus Lord, that's amazing. My new favorite song -- hands down.

Your stock is rising, Jiggs Casey.

Oh ... and I was in the Wall Street Journal. (Down near the bottom under "Pixel Mania"

Yours is better though.

Waaaaaayyy better.

Well played, sir.

slappy said...

It's no "Kitten in a Sandwich", but it's pretty good all the same.

Nick said...

I agree with slappy.

slappy said...

Circle gets the square!

Nick said...

What are you? Canadian?

jiggs said...

tumbleweed and freddy: sorry to but in on your conversation. Actually I'm not sorry at all, cuz I'm a douche.

tumbleweed: got the lyrics. I like em.

freddy: I wished you a happy birthday on your blog, ya limey bastard.

mcd: sweet tittays. I looked at the starbox reference and thought to myself, I was there since the beginning. Suck it rest of world!

nick and slappy: are you guys sure you're not the same person?

And slappy, are you sure you not Jim J bullock?

slappy said...

I'm Charles Nelson Reilly, bitches!

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