Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Frankly monkey...

I've been owing monkey an audio post for so long that he threatened to throw poo at me if I didn't get the job done. In particular, he wanted me to utter Clark Gable's (as Rhett Butler) famous phrase from Gone with the Wind:
Scarlet: Rhett... Rhett! If you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?
Rhett: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
But because I was so late with the post, I tried to do a little something extra for monkey. First off, I also read the part of Scarlet for the audio post, except I read it as if Monkey were Scarlet. Secondly, I did four different versions of the famous exchange so as to give monkey his choice of Rhett Butler. Mind you, I have never seen Gone with the Wind, so I was flying blind here.
  1. Just my rich baritone (you're welcome ladies!)
  2. Charleton Heston I'm-in-pain style towards the end
  3. Charleton Heston I'm-in-pain style the whole way through
  4. If Rhett Butler had been an old man very near death
I hope you like them, monkey!

29 comments:

Brookelina said...

You sound more like Prissy than Scarlet. "Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!!"

Other than that it was way hot.

miss kendra said...

DAMMIT!

i have no speakers at work.

they do this to me on purpose.

just you wait- the second i get home (and pop a pill) you're mine, jiggs casey.

all mine.

mwa hahahahaha

Tumbleweed said...

You have the sexiest voice ever! If you start a phone sex line, make sure you drop me the digits baby!

jiggs said...

brooke: that was my impression of monkey.

miss k: should I be scared or aroused?

tumbleweed: I went through a phase as a phone sex operator: 1800douchebag

Lee Ann said...

Oh my gosh.I cannot stop laughing. You are hysterical.
Who was doing the Scarlett voice...hahaha

Nick said...

This is the culmination of man's achievements.

Sis B said...

omg that was friggin hysterical! i don't know what magical chain of events transpired to bring that to the web, but i'm glad they happened. my fave was #3. love me some CH.

jiggs said...

lee ann: that was my impression of the way monkey talks

nick: I appreciate the sentiment. Both about the content of this post and the fact that you referred to me as a man. That's progress!

sis b: It all started when the classic movie star survey said I was clark gable. And don't we all love charleton heston? "IT'S PEOPLE! SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE!"

miss kendra said...

i like that "monkey" has a southern accent. kind of.

i would like you to read me stories now.

Lee Ann said...

Jiggs, come over and look!

Calzone said...

Damn...Monkeys in bed...Pity to miss this.

Ɯbermilf said...

Miss Kendra! You and I are sharing a brain! I was going to remark how impressed I was with Monkey's southern accent, as well!

jiggs said...

miss k: I'm working on a children's story right now. Did you have a particular story in mind?

lee ann: I saw it! You and I are destined to be blog buddies!

calzone: Monkey is sick? well poo. And not the good kind of poo.

uebermilf: the role required that I add a bit of a southern twang, though I can't do a proper deep south accent.

Friends of McDougal said...

Jesus God. This bizarre monstrosity is an early frontrunner for post of the year.

It made me dizzy. I've listened to each delivery three times.

Fucking genius.

miss kendra said...

well, we could start with maybe the lorax?

then guess how much i love you

and then anna karenina...

and then just see where it goes from there.

Monkey said...

I'M A BOY!!!!!!!!

Jesus H. Christ in an Easter Basket. When will you people get this concept?? Boy!!

Your wish is my command Mr. Casey. I'll be back in a moment to listen to the fruits of your labors.

jiggs said...

mcd: thanks yo.

miss k: the lorax and guess how much I love you are good books. It would be amusing to do Tolstoy. Russian novels need funny voices.

jiggs said...

monkey: Oh poo. The second time I used a pronoun, I did say "his" but the first time I said "she". I'm so sorry. I'll fix the post in a second.

Monkey said...

Miss Kendra, Ubie and I share the same brain! I too was mightily impressed with Mr. Casey's imitation of my southern accent. I didn't know I was so talented!

Thank you Jiggs Casey! Another successful venture. Of course... tomorrow the rest of the story may be told. Ahem.

Monkey said...

P.S. I sound so pathetic. Good Lord. Maybe I should take some steroids.

jiggs said...

monkey: I don't know if you should take steroids. They shrink things you know... Things that you don't want shrunk.

Nick said...

He's talking about your tag, monkey.

Lee Ann said...

Jiggs ~ You should hear a real southern accent....I can provide that first hand! Ticharu or TWolf (who both have midwestern accents) can tell you. Tich says I talk a mile a minute....who says southerners talk slow? ;)

jiggs said...

nick: that's right... monkey's tag...

lee ann:I'm only familiar with the Texas brand of Southern accent, not the Alabama flavor. I bet it sounds delish.

Lee Ann said...

You are sweet!
If you have mic on msgr, we will have to test it sometime!
You will see...(or hear I should say)
People from outside of the south say I have a definite accent. People here don't think I do.

Going to bed...nite!

Tumbleweed said...

That number has been disconnected. I wonder if I can purchase it for my own sick needs?

jamwall said...

dad?

jiggs said...

lee ann: I don't have any messenger things, but if you recorded your voice and posted in on your blog I bet it would be popular.

tumbleweed: feel free to take 1800douchebag

jamwall: son? It's been so long!

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