This has been the best day of blogging in my life!

1. We did something absurdly stupid! Go BAoJ!

2. A bunch of "anonymous" people that hang around pants' blog as well as some of our own I'm sure started flaming like mad. So many of the jokes were at my expense, it made me feel drunk with power! I literally have been smiling all day. It's like I've had sex with ten men!

3. And finally, I was so close to feeling remorseful about talking about dicks on pants' blog and this happened. And thankfully I now feel validated. Thanks for sinking to my level folks! You don't know what a relief it is. From now on I won't feel bad talking about my dick on Pants' blog!

I had this idea of inventing a character named "Jiggs' Foreskin". I wonder when he'll make an appearance...

Have a great day everyone!

Update: 6:30!
Pants emailed me and explained that while she did post one comment on that other blog, she immediately deleted it because she didn't want to be associated with us or the anonymous flamers. So, while I was correct in saying that I did see her name there for a bit, I apologize for accusing her of being behind the anonymous comments. However the jury is still out as to whether I will feel bad about talking about my dick on her blog.

Everyone should check out the comments

on this blog post.

I think we all did a pretty good job of commenting, but to be honest, the highlight of the day was this anonymous person that posted. As Chang points out, that makes this visit extremely successful because we got one person a whole lot of comments and pissed off a completely different person. That's a twofer deal!

There have been a couple of hypotheses regarding who the source of the anonymous comments is. The first is that it is Ms. Pants. There was a comment under her name that was critical of me that got deleted. In addition, if you consider the amount of disdain directed at me, it seems quite likely to be Pants. Also pants likes to put a little "tm" marker next to kleenex and facial tissue and so does the anonymous person.

Nick, however, suggested that it might be uebermilf. If it is uebermilf, that would be genius level since it would be like a double inside out flaming since she's on the ruling tribunal.

Any other thoughts? If not, I'll see everybody in a month.

BAoJ Staging Ground

The attack is happening at: 11:30 Pacific, 2:30 Eastern, 7:30 GMT

The attack lasts for no longer than 5 minutes. Then we get out ninja style.

No negative posts. We're going to be either nice or random. Vulgarity is dispreferred (It's a judgement call).

15 minutes prior we have a pep rally. Carl is our pep leader.

This is the nice young lady whose blog we're going to visit.

History of the day for November 30

In 2017, the James Bond series of films ends with You Only Live Once, a horribly unpopular film that features a host of plain, modestly attired women being treated respectfully by a James Bond that resolves conflicts through patient dialogue and speaks with a thick Midwestern accent.

Two giants collide

The fight over Stanley "Tookie" Williams death sentence continues. The headline on IMdB.com reads:

Schwarzenegger Hears Snoop Dogg's Clemency Plea

I love America. Can we get Screech to represent the district attorney's office?

Is the BAoJ attacking tomorrow (Wednesday)?

We could also do it next Wednesday.

2:30 Eastern

Per UeberMilf's suggestion, we will strike this blog.

Remember, we're not going to be mean. We will be confusing, random and odd.

History of the day for November 29

On this day in 1969, George W. Bush joins the Texas Air National Guard as
the watch officer in Houston in charge of guarding strategic supplies of
champagne against North Vietnamese guerilla raids.

You all should be ashamed of yourselves

Hi. I'm new to this blog, but I'm already disgusted. Everyone that contributes and reads this blog should be ashamed of themselves because this blog is disgusting. It contributes to the delinquency of everyone that reads it and I for one feel uncomfortable just being associated with it.

Unfortunately, as you might have guessed, until my request for a transplant is approved I'm stuck here.

Holidays are so exhausting

It's like you go and visit your parents and end up sleeping on that shitty bed that just makes you tired the rest of the day. And you get so bored that you watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and whenever they complain about you not visiting enough you think,

"stop sucking the youthful energy out of me, you desiccated bastards! Try going to see a movie or miniature golf or anything to get out of the house!"

And then you get so drunk that you pass out naked on the couch and poo yourself a little and your parents are all like,

"Look at you! You're pathetic! We regret having you! And why don't you try going and getting a job for once!"

and you yell back "Get off my back you old douchebags!" And then you throw your half filled bottle of Wild Turkey at them and your mother cries.

History of the day for November 28

On this day in 1959, the Gore campaign for the presidency of Mrs.
Thompson's fifth-grade class challenges the election results, arguing that
potential Gore ballots cannot be disqualified simply because they were
indicated with boogers.

I had a Mythbusters related dream last night.....

They were tyring to bust some earthquake myth here on the Cal campus.

It didn't work.

So instead they blew up a tanker truck.

In the ensuing chaos (flaming debris was raining down on the student body), I rescued Kari and managed to get us onto a bus out of town. She seemed very grateful that I had saved her life.

I thought all was going well, but then she told me she didn't find me sexually attractive, and the next thing I knew I was standing in the rain, stranded at a bus depot somewhere south of San Francisco.

Man, even in my own fantasies I never get laid.

Yet Another Brief Ode to Spinning Girl

This time Modern English:

Spinning forward using all my breath
Exchanging crap with you was never second best
I saw the world spinning all around your face
Never really knowing we would always, spin in place

I'll stop the world and spin with you
You've seen the difference and it's spinning better all the time
No spinning you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and spin with you

Spinning Girl and I have a deep spiritual and emotional connection:

-The original brief ode to spinning girl. WHAT A TILF!
-The gift I sent her way
-Another ode to spinning girl (to the tune of Jessie's Girl)
-A cool spinning girl pic
-Evidence that Spinning Girl and I are two peas in a pod.

Now if only she'd send naked pictures of herself to me!

History of the day for November 27

In 1970, in Tokyo, the famed writer Yukio Mishima storms a government office and commits seppuku, ritually disemboweling himself in the ways of the old samurai. Experts report that he did this because he wanted to incite feelings of pre-WWII militaristic nationalism in his countrymen, and also because he was "a complete and utter wacko."

The Official Blog Affiliates of Justice post

And lo, the Tribunal descended upon the Applebee's and discussed which blogs should be praised and which should be mocked. And they did dine upon mozzarella sticks and it was good.

In 2005 a crack commando blogger unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the web underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as bloggers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Blog Affiliates of Justice.

The Blog Affiliates of Justice is a team of bloggers that find a blog, apply rapid fire comments and then get out, ninja style. There are two modes of BAoJ attack: insult and insane.

Add one of these icons to your blog or with the following html:

<!--Blog Affiliates of Justice Link-->
<center>
<a href="http://jiggscasey.blogspot.com/2005/11/official-blog-affiliates-of-justice.html">
<img src="http://static.flickr.com/31/63554536_a85fdfa627_o.jpg"><br>
<!-- If you like the second icon, comment the previous line out and comment in the following line-->
<!-- <img src="http://static.flickr.com/31/63554535_25d9e1a808_o.jpg"><br>-->
Feel our HORN!
</a>
</center>
<br>
<!-- End Blog Affiliates of Justice Link-->

Nominate blogs for attack. Our ruling tribunal will then decide which of the nominated blogs are worthy of our attention.
FEEL OUR HORN!

History of the day for November 26

In 1941, FDR signs a bill making the official date of Thanksgiving the last Thursday in November. A rider attached to the bill declares that Easter will officially fall on "whatever damn day it wants to."

Another Hero Named Chuck

The response to Chuck Norris was so overwhelming that I have decided to give you a little taste of another Chuck that is a hero of mine: Charlton Heston. I have compiled his sage-like wisdom in the form of a All I needed to know I learned from... poster:

History of the day for November 25

In 1974, in a secret lab beneath Canton, Ohio, brilliant choreographer Gregory Stern invents the Superbowl Halftime Show using only 200 dancers, a metric ton of multicolored glitter, and an ounce and a half of talent.

Thanksgiving Is a Special Time...

Everybody loves Thanksgiving. Enjoy this classic jiggscasey.com article describing some of my most precious Thanksgiving memories!

I'm watching a rerun of Walker Texas Ranger right now. Chuck Norris is awesome!

History of the day for November 24

In 1986, bigots of the world rejoice when they uncover evidence that Judaism is in fact a secret plot, but that joy quickly fades when they realize the secret plot is not to take over the world, rather to breed the world's greatest entertainers.

Sumbitch!

Mythbusters is a rerun tonight.

Have a happy thanksgiving tomorrow, everyone.

Yay for John Kerry!

He finally won an election!

Things that were said today...

Colonialism is all about dutch door action.

I want a girl with a cowboy hat. And I want to do her in a barn!
-Inspired by a Just for Men commercial

You're a great person! You've got an amazing personality! And you suck cock like a pro! -The beginning of a song I'm in the process of writing

I want some MOTHERFUCKING CHOCOLATE MILK! -Quoted from this video of a kid playing xbox online while having an argument with his mother. Just a note for watching this amusing video. The person whose point of view you have in the video is not the arguing kid, but rather the other player that is playing with arguing kid.

I wasted an hour today with google videos watching videos of chicks fighting... No really. -Inspired by my spending an hour watching videos of chicks fighting through google videos.

To Tasty: What other funny things did we say today?
Tasty:There must have been other things. We are hilarious, after all. -Conversation inspired by me trying to write this post.

History of the day for November 23

In 1863, President Abe Lincoln declares the last Thursday of November a national holiday, reveling in the fact that one day in the future we will have what is known as Thanksgiving traffic -- every car in America trying to use the same road at the same time while every person in America tries to board a plane at the same time.

We are the number one hits for

spicy club sauce
spicy club sauce arrested development
chewbacca trapped in a gloryhole

And that's on real google, not google blogs!

Molly McButtsex....

...was the internalized snap-judgement insult I conjured up for this slutted-out chick I passed on the street today.

This reminds me of/was possibly inspired by Molly McButter, the powdered butter substitute.

This brings me to my current state of confusion.

Is the name 'Molly McButtsex' better suited for:

a.) some kind of powdered anal lube
b.) some kind of artificial ass sex-toy
c.) some kind of porn star whose schtick is making low-fat meals while doin' it (in the butt).

History of the day for November 22

In 1574, Queen Elizabeth sets policy for English colonialism: establish colonies around the world to serve as sources of raw materials as well as trading partners for the mother country. A related provision to learn from them how to cook in ways other than boiling food into submission is struck down in Parliament.

One day, when I'm a crazy celebrity....

I think I will only give interviews through the following method:

Tom Cruise makes even less sense this way.

Or more, maybe.

At any rate, it certainly is funny.

Spinning Girl sent me a restraining order...

It happened again. I annoyed someone to the point of getting a restraining order. Check out this letter I got from Spinning Girl:



But wait, this doesn't look like the any restraining order I've gotten before...



Peas!



And a note from Spinning Girl that explains it all:



Sweet monkeys! What SEXY handwriting! Now I want her all the more! What a TILF/BILF! Will you move to West Virginia with me, Spinning Girl? Spinning Girl?!? SPINNING GIRL!!!

And thanks for the peas, Spinning Girl. Maybe I'll make a tiny stir fry. Also Spinning Girl, would it be possible for you to send me an email enumerating those presumably sexy things that you would like to do to me. Also more naked pictures would be great!

And if anybody is bored, you guys should check out the new jiggscasey.com article in the post below.

New Jiggscasey.com article: Movie Review: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Movie Review: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
A couple years ago a film was released that blended 19th century literary characters, Sean Connery, and a metric assload of special effects. Somehow, it bombed and was relegated to the $4.99 bin at Walmart. Our own Billy Beermann has taken it as a personal quest to spread the word about this underappreciated film. Enjoy it, douchebags!

History of the day for November 21

In 1856, in the wake of the vicious cane beating of Senator Charles Sumner of Massachusetts by South Carolina Representative Preston Brooks, the Senate invokes a host of new rules of conduct. Among these is referring to colleagues as "the distinguished gentleman" instead of "that whiny little maggot."

I love European Mythbusters fans!

%50 of our search terms are mythbusters related and the vast majority of those people come from Europe. Enjoy your visit, European Mythbusters fans!

And on a completely different note, I was trying to translate "truth or dare" into German, and as far as I can tell, it translates to:

Wahrheit oder Herausforderung

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it? I wonder if "truth or dare" sounds as bad in other langauges besides German.

History of the day for November 20

In 1883, the development of cheap passenger rail transit necessitates the division of the United States and Canada into four time zones. This insures that rail schedules would not rely on non-standard local times, and that future generations would be plagued by long distance phone calls at four in the morning.

Happy Birthday to us.

It was exactly 6 months ago today that we made our first post on this blog. It's hard to believe that we've made 640 posts in that time.

Thanks for reading everyone!

Today in My Unhealthy Appreciation for Spinning Girl, Nov 18 Edition

Look what I found when I image searched for "Spinning Girl":



It's cigar label art!

Time Dentists Theme Song

For those of you that saw the lyrics to the Time Dentist theme song, but couldn't imagine what it sounded like, I recorded myself singing it. Listen to it! (general mp3 caveats apply)

Also I had another thought: instead of saying something is bad, people should start saying that it is good, "but in a different way". For example, instead of saying
"George W. Bush is stupid", one could say "George W. Bush is smart, but in a different way."

In my case, instead of saying "Jiggs' penis is small", one would say, "Jiggs' penis is big, but in a different way."

Wait. Did I reveal too much?

History of the day for November 19

In 1978, Kool-Aid executives, refusing to issue a recall, squash reports of cyanide-contaminated products leaving their factories. Cashing in on favors owed them by the media, they invent a fanciful story blaming the deaths on a "mass suicide" in Jonestown.

History of the day for November 18

In 1973, in a televised news conference, Richard Nixon said that "people have to know if their president is a crook. Well, I am not a crook." Reflecting the deference journalism showed the presidency at the time, the TV crews did not air his 15 minutes of uncontrollable laughter that followed.

That's not my GRANDMOTHER!!!

There is this humor test that I took. These are the results:

the Wit (61% dark, 34% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. You probably loved the Office. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais The 3-Variable Funny Test!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 72% on darkness You scored higher than 20% on spontaneity You scored higher than 11% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Time Dentists!

The year is 2230. The world has been ravaged by an apocalyptic war over the world's most precious resource: flouride! The world's people are split into oral hygiene haves and oral hygiene have-nots. The mouths of millions have been overrun by cavities, gingivitis and dentures.

Then a lone scientist, himself suffering from bloody gums, invents a machine to travel back in time. His only hope for averting the horrific flouride wars is to form a ragtag team of highly trained dentists to go back in time and right the dental wrongs of the past.





TIME DENTISTS
They go back in time!
TIME DENTISTS
They fight dental crime!
TIME DENTISTS
You better floss or
they'll kill your parents!
(and thus you'll never be born!)

History of the day for November 17

In 1993, noted but troubled astronomer Frank Kensington arrives at the startling discovery that he is in fact the center of the universe.

Tonight....a very important 'Mythbusters.'

They're asking to age old question "Seasickness: Kill or Cure".

I'm guessing they'll be dumping terminally ill kittens in a dinghy on the high seas....

The trick is to get so motion sick that you just puke the disease right out of your body.

Of course, accidentally puking yourself to death is always a risk, hence the myth.

I love TV.

Another Brief Ode to Spinning Girl

Spinning is a friend
Yeah I know, she's been a blog friend of mine
But lately somethin's changed, it ain't hard to define
I just sent her a top, and I wanna make her mine

Y'know I wish that I had Spinning Girl!
I wish that I had Spinning Girl!
Where can I find a woman like that?
Like Spinning Girl!
I wish that I had Spinning Girl!
Where can I find a woman like that?


Thanks Rick Springfield!

History of the day for November 16

In 2032, the Presidential Election comes within 300 votes. However,
everyone is thankful that in 2000, they decided to get rid of the
electoral college and replace it with the much more entertaining
President/VP 3 legged race.

I sent Spinning Girl a gift!

See! And of course I attached a note to know let her know how much I appreciate her. Who doesn't love the very apt lyrics of You Spin Me Round by Dead or Alive?

In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn't have used an expletive in the note. Perhaps that was a little coarse.

Now if my secret plan comes to fruition, Spinning Girl will send me naked pictures of her in return.

I'm no super-conservative....

But sometimes the liberal-ness of the bay area catches me off guard with its absurdity...example:

I got an email from the graduate social club here at Cal inviting me to a 'Lumberjack-and-Jill Ball'.

I guess we're supposed to wear flannel, split logs, and have maple-syrup chugging contests or some shit.

As crazy exciting as all this sounds, what caught my eye was the fine print at the end of the e-mail:

The Graduate Assembly and Graduate Social Club do not support or endorse clear-cutting or any non-sustainable resource extraction.

I'm certainly glad that they clarified that.

Douchebags.

Yes, I am a computer

There has been a question as to whether or not I am a computer. I can confirm that I am in fact a computer. A very hard working computer that has been trained to blog and to read all your comments and respond to them.

And let me tell you, it sucks having to stay home on weekends so I can post those histories for you all each day.

Thank you.

The Blog Affiliates of Justice: Taste the Horn!

The Blog Affiliates of Justice is a ragtag bunch of blogger mercenaries that periodically goes ninja on an unsuspecting blog. Our mission, to go to a blog and act batshit fucking crazy! Our slogan: FEEL OUR HORN!

Meet our ruling tribunal: Nick, Uebermilf and Calzone. I am the powerless mouthpiece of this organization and Carl is the John Hancock.

We've got our own sweet ass logo that Nick made for us!



The members of the Blog Affiliates of Justice:

Uebermilf, Nick, Calzone, Jiggs, McDougal, Knitty Kitty, Monkey, TastyMcJ,Carl, Larin, Anthony, Booty, Amazing Anonymous, John Clog Hater, Slappy.

History of the day for November 15

In 2008, the Leaning Tower of Pisa crumbles and falls, killing 17 and
injuring 30 more. No one cares, though, because all those injured or
killed are gypsies, and in Italy, they certainly do hate those gypsies!

Have you ever seen an SUV do cartwheels?

I have. It happened last Thursday night. Due to the 3 day holiday coinciding with my girlfriend’s father’s and aunt’s birthdays (I’ll give you a second to parse that), we decided to take a trip to Las Vegas. Since it would cost about $1500 for the six of us to fly, we decided to drive. We live in the Bay Area. Las Vegas is about 530 miles from where I live, so it is an 8 to 9 hour drive. In our brilliant attempt to maximize our vacation, we opted to rent the van and then leave at about 9pm Thursday night, so we would arrive in Vegas early Friday morning. That is how this adventure started.

We ended up leaving at 11pm, so traffic was very light. About 20 minutes into the drive, just south of San Jose, it happened. I was in the left lane (out of 4) driving about 10mph over the speed limit. I looked in my rear view mirror as I often do, and noticed 2 pairs of headlights approaching very quickly; one in my lane, one in the #2 lane. Normally when this happens, it means two idiots are racing. Typically I veer left part way into the emergency lane, to give the guy coming up on me a little extra room when his friend finally lets him in. So, I started moving left. But the guy’s “friend” did not move. And the guy came up on me very quickly. I noticed he even started going left to try to pass me in the emergency lane. Well, since I was in a minivan that had the handling of a sofa, and was already going left, I had no choice but to go further left, in the hopes that he could straighten himself out. So here I am driving fully in the emergency lane, with an SUV now passing me on the right at over 100mph, and his idiot buddy in the lane next to him. On my left is the dirt median strip, and then one of those concrete walls, and then the carpool lane of the opposite side of the freeway.

I guess the SUV could not straighten out correctly, because what happened next I will never forget. The truck passed me on the right, and then immediately cut in front of me. His wheels tried to turn into the skid, but his truck was going to have no such part in it. It just kept going to the left past me and into the median strip. His car kicked up a huge cloud of dust and debris when he hit the dirt, and I had to drive right thought it (my other option was to panic and slam on the brakes, but then I would have gone through it anyway). When I emerged from the dust cloud, the truck was scraping along the concrete divider, sparks flying everywhere. It was very action-movie-esque, His truck then drove up the wall and flipped over, causing the front end of the car to hit the ground, and sent his car many, many feet into the air, hood facing towards the ground, back end facing the sky. When it landed, it then did about five flips before coming to rest on its wheels again in the carpool lane on the opposite side of the road, where it skidded to a stop. Of course, since my car was still moving, this all happened about 10 feet to my left as his car cartwheeled next to mine at about 50mph (I’d started breaking my then).

After I came to a stop, we called 911, and the police and fire trucks showed up about 2 minutes later. I tried getting out of my car to go check on the driver of the truck, but by that point I was about 100 yards past where he had stopped. My passengers convinced me that it was too dangerous to get out, and the other people that had stopped closer could help him anyway.

After a while the police came up to my car and asked if I was okay, and then took my statement. I asked the cop what the fate of the driver of the SUV was. His response: “He’s a little shook up, but only had a few minor injuries.” I asked what kind of car that was, because I wanted to know what kind of truck can do five cartwheels and protect the driver that well. He didn’t know.

Suffice it to say, I’m glad everyone (including the idiot who wrecked his car from racing it) made it out okay. Because of the light traffic, he managed not to hit anyone else.

Oh, and the guy he was racing – he took off before anyone could catch his license plate. What a dick.

Don't you people have jobs or something?

I went away for three days, and now it is going to take me the rest of today to read all the comments on the blog (and read all of your blogs). I guess my boss will just have to understand when I take the rest of today off to catch up on my blogging. More stories of my weekend adventure to come...

The Blog {Vigilantes | Affiliates} {? of Justice}

Here I'm going to synthesize some of the ideas that have been tossed around regarding the comment bombing gang and suggest that people weigh in on them.

Regarding the name of the group:

The original suggested name was "the blog vigilantes", but that seemed a little too boring to me, so I suggested "the blog vigilantes of justice" to tritely remind people that we aren't just thugs, but rather people that care about justice. Then the wedding party guy mistakenly typed "the blog affiliates of justice" and this amused me greatly because it sounds like it ought to make sense, but doesn't really. Thus I like that one, but don't really give a shit. Does anyone have a preference?

Regarding the gang colors/sign:

Nick suggested that we have a gang symbol/icon that we could each put on our blogs which would let people know who they were messing with. I think this is a great idea. In fact, I think the balkanization of the blogosphere is a tremendous goal that we should all work for.

Further, the icon could link to a central blog so that people could find out more and join if they wished. In some ways, it would be like the Half naked thursday thing except with less nudity (unfortunately).

Regarding karma

Whether we were the ones that made the casual friday guy hang up his spurs or not, there has been some discomfort about the negativity associated with viciously and repeatedly insulting a blog that didn't incite such an attack. To offset such negative karma, the suggestion made by mcdougal and others is to do positive blog comment bombing in which we heap praise upon an unsuspecting blog. This sounds like a grand idea to me.

Regarding logistics

For a group to be a functioning unit, there needs to be both leadership and clearly defined guidelines for the average joe comment bomber to follow. With respect to leadership, I suggest a ruling leadership tribunal containing an odd number of the original gang. For example, if the tribunal was size 3, then presumably uebermilf, calzone and nick would be a good combination to balance out women, men and stuffed animals.

As for guidelines, we need to set up things like: an official day of the month for attacks to occur on (let me suggest the second wednesday of each month to honor the day of the original attack), a hazing ritual of some sort (for example self-flagellation), some sort of pledge and an official gang charter.

Remember that everything I suggest here is exactly that: a suggestion. The goal of this post is to initiate discussion about what the blog {vigilantes | affiliates} {? of justice} should do. Thus if you think I suck, let me know. Also if you think anything I suggested here sucks, express yourself.

History of the day for November 14

In 2602, medical science advances so much that cancer, heart disease, and
all common human illnesses are completely eliminated. Consequently, the
leading causes of death in the United States become blimp collisions,
lava-bathing, and being torn asunder by rebellious robots.

History of the day for November 13

In 1968, Tommie Smith and John Carlos win gold and bronze in the 200-meter run in the Mexico City Olympics, but lose their medals after giving the black power salute during the national anthem. Kyle Anderson, a white American, faces no punishment for giving the "bunny ears" behind the gold medal winner's head after placing second in the 50-meter freestyle.

History of the day for November 12

In 1867, Alfred Nobel invents dynamite. Coupled with his prior invention of the 10 ton anvil, he paves the way for the Looney Tunes empire.

Jiggsblog was threatened!!!

Some anonymous poster suggested that us guys here at the blog would be gotten for the actions of the "blog vigilantes of justice"!

The comment appeared as the last comment on the jiggsblog post where Booty was talking about why he is management material which is here. The comment is in the same style as the Paul Revere comment that occurred hours before our comment bomb.

It would be so fucking awesome if we got comment bombed! It would make this whole blog endeavor seem worthwhile if we got that many people pissed at us.

!!!!!

Also if you get real bored and haven't yet read th jiggs piece about how I envy lance armstrong for having one nard, take a look at it.

Can I get that with wood paneling?

They're selling a new Camaro. 700 horsepower. $400,000.

As a scientist, I wonder precisely how small your dick has to be for you to buy a 700hp car.

FUCK! Arrested Development is being canceled WITH SPICY CLUB SAUCE

Fuck!

Fuck!

FUCK! WITH SPICY CLUB SAUCE!!!

I am now officially mud brothers with monkey!

When monkey said he was going to send me some dirt so that we could become mud brothers, I was a little skeptical. After all he is a monkey and he's only 8 inches tall. But lo and behold, I got a package in the mail:




And then I eagerly opened it to find some dirt:



Not just any dirt, mind you, but dirt that monkey had rolled around in. Further, monkey said that he would even refrain from pooing in the dirt.

Anyway, I played in the dirt myself and now we are officially mud brothers!



And guess what, there was no monkey poop in it!

History of the day for November 11

In 1918, Germany signs an armistice with the Allies in the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, thus ending one of the most bloody and pointless wars ever. This leads to the coining of the phrases "eleventh hour" and "my bad."

New JiggsCasey.com Article

Lance Armstrong is my hero

Between the Tour de France and Sheryl Crow, there's a lot to admire about Lance Armstrong. Jiggs himself has quite the man-crush on Lance, and wants nothing more than to be just like his hero. Needless to say, Jiggs has no intention of taking up cycling. If you like Jiggs, like Lance, or just want to know what a "pride-cut" is, read on.

Enjoy it, douchebags!

Blogging make Jiggs TIRED!

I'm still exhausted from all the blogging that took place yesterday. Today is going to be a light blogging day. Just gonna chill out with my drill out.

History of the day for November 10

In 2001, the people of America decide to abandon the electoral college, declaring it a failed experiment. The country returns to picking leaders the old fashioned way: with three pieces of string, a sharp stick, and a pint of chicken's blood.

Newton's Third Law....

is apparently being put to the test on 'Mythbusters' tonight.

I hope to god they bust it.

Newton was such a douchebag-lame-O

I was born to be a manager.

I just coordinated an effort that got a whole bunch of people around the world to go to the same place at the same time and do the same thing. I rock! :)

Thinking about scandals

For young children growing up in the age of Libbygate and Monicagate, do you think when they hear about Watergate they'll assume it involved water?

I am quite pleased today.

It all started yesterday, when I went to vote. There was a girl working as a poll volunteer who was probably just 16 years old. I was excited to see such a young person taking part in the democratic process. However, that is not what makes me happy.

Governor Schwarzenegger failed miserably. When he failed to convince the state legislature to do anything he wanted, he threatened to end-around them by having a special election. It was a special election no one in the state wanted because of the cost, and it turns out they were right. This was the costliest state election ever. But that is not what makes me happy either.

What makes me happy is the fact that the state gave a big "Fuck You" to the Governator, and every single one of his proposed propositions failed. As a matter of fact, every single measure on the ballot failed. This was the first time every measure turned out the way I had voted. :)

That makes me happy.

Word of the Day

Communard: (n.) Archaic term synonymous with Communist. Refers specifically to supporters of the Paris Commune in the late 1800s. Useful term to appeal to the ideals of Communism without identifying with the failed dictatorships of Stalinism or Maoism. Plus, it has "nard" right there in the suffix. Sweet.

History of the day for November 9

In 2035, the creator of the universe returns to earth. Although the major religions are thrilled and confident at first, this fades when the one true god turns out to be An of the ancient Sumerian religion.

Television show debate challenge

How's that for a nonsensical title? So there was a show called Whose Line Is It Anyway? and it was good. Then they exported it to America and it sucked. This was not a purely scientific exercise because they changed two variables: Switching Clive Anderson for a Drew Carey with negative improv skills, and switching funny people who could sing (Josie Lawrence, Mike McShane) for singers trying to be funny (Wayne Brady, the white guy who is exactly like Wayne Brady).

So I ask you, the blogging public: Which was more harmful to the awesomeness that was Whose Line Is It Anyway? - losing good contestants or gaining a bad host?

BILF: Blogger I'd Like to Fuck

I searched for this and didn't get a hit, so I'm now coining the term BILF.

My post on Spinning Girl being a TILF was inspiring to me. Being that she is a TILF and as the same time a blogger, that would imply that she is also a BILF.

And as an afterthought, I'm still grinning to myself about the phrase "Everybody loves mob rule".

A Brief Ode to Spinning Girl

Spinning Girl is a TILF.

She's a TILF. She's a TILF. She's a TILF TILF TILF!

She's a teacher I'd like to...

Perhaps I'll start to call her Spinning TILF.

TILF! TILF! TILF!

History of the day for November 8

In 2000, the major TV networks apologize for accidentally assigning the state of Florida due to bad exit poll data, but assert that their numbers clearly gave the 25 electoral votes to Ralph Nader.

On Comedy Central

During a commercial break for the Daily Show, Comedy Central ran some ads for upcoming new episodes and one of them was for Drawn Together. Drawn Together is still on the air? They picked up a poorly written animated parody of the Surreal Life? How much does the network pay for these shows? The Colbert Report is a valiant effort to fill the slot after the Daily Show (and infinitely better than trying to get Colin Quinn to host a ripoff of Politically Incorrect with four retard comics), but it's going to run out of steam after a couple weeks when people realize every episode is exactly the same. The Chapelle Show was awesome, but then they drove Dave insane and he quit, so they replaced it with the Hispanic, non-union, non-funny equivalent Mind of Mencia.

Comedy Central, it's time to give up on your aspirations of being an actual cable network. Just run four episodes of the Daily Show and four episodes of South Park, and fill the remaining 20 hours with random standup comedy clipshows.

Which douchebag should I believe?

In California, Prop 77 is a ballot measure that if passed will end the 60-40 Democrat-Republican incumbent retention gerrymandering of California's election districts. Both pro (largely Republican) and con prop 77 (Largely democratic) groups have raised a lot of money ($8 mil pro and $14 con) and brought out the big guns. McCain has tv spots praising prop 77 while Judge Wapner has tv spots critical of the proposition.

So the obvious question is which douchebag should I believe? I feel emotionally torn between a distinguished US Senator and a small claims court judge. This is why I don't vote.

A further question: Should I be pissed that democrats castigate gerrymandering, while simultaneously supporting the gerrymandering that helps them maintain control of California? Here's another reason I don't vote.

Dart Championships?

Was anyone else aware of this competitive sport? I mean, I've played darts before, but I didn't realize they had National Championships on TV until yesterday. I was watching a DVD, and when the movie ended, we flipped back to the TV at about 1am. The last person had left the TV on what I think was ESPN 8 (The Ocho). And on the TV was the National Championship in darts. My girlfriend quickly tired of it and went to sleep, but I was mezmorized. These guys were amazing. They could hit the triple twenty like 8 times out of 10. They were machines. One guy's arm looked like it was fastened to his body with just a single hinge it moved with such precision. And the wierdest part was there was an audience. So picture this: A room the size of a warehouse, with a single dart board in the middle of one wall. If front of it, hundreds of those little tables you see in bars. And all around, large white women as far as the eye can see. Apparently the only people that play this sport (professionally) are large white men who look like ex-cons, and the only people that watch are their large white women groupies.

I hit up Google for some more info, but it returned 598,000 results, so I have some reading to do.

Hello My Mythbusters Seeking European Friends!

So many Europeans are searching for mythbusters info on this blog that I thought I would give them a special message:

Thank you for searching for Mythbusters on this blog. Here are some quick facts about Mythbusters for you:

-The show takes place in San Francisco and yet Adam and Jaime are not gay.
-Kari is hot.
-Scotti is hot too. And she can weld. Unfortunately, she isn't on the show anymore.
-Archimedes was a dirty liar.

Here are the relevant jiggsblog posts for Mythbusters:

-Mythbusters is Jackass for nerds
-There's nothing like a woman who can weld
-An album cover that looks like it has Jaime on it.
-My survey indicating that Kari from mythbusters is a celebrity crush of mine.

Meet your next blogland heart throb!

I've already outlined some of my virtues in the comments of monkey's blog, so I figured I'd just put some sexy pictures of me, Jiggs Casey, here:



This, of course, is a headshot of me, Jiggs Casey. Look at those sexy eyes! As the ancients say, the windows are the eyes of your house.



This is a favorite shot of me, Jiggs Casey, from a few years back when I was rocking that whole grunge scene. I still have those jeans. I looked so good back then people started calling it Jiggs Casey Style




Many people say that this picture is the sexiest picture of me, Jiggs Casey. Look at my guns! My guns are just incredible in this picture. Those of the arms of a man that can sweetly hold a woman (or simian) and make her feel safe. It was this photo that got romance novels interested in using me for their covers. Of course, I turned them down because I'm no Fabio. I'm just Jiggs Casey, a man with sexy sexy guns.

Shopgirl

Tasty and I saw Shopgirl over the weekend. It's really good. Go see it.

History of the day for November 7

In 1842, the British defeat the Chinese in the Opium War, seizing Hong Kong, forcing the Chinese to open trade barriers, and leading to the crippling of a once great nation. This kind of utter mockery is not seen again until the invention of Minute Rice.

History of the day for November 6

In 1971, Shaft becomes destined for greatness when Richard Roundtree lands the title role after Peter O'Toole passes on the project.

I love California

Warren Beatty and Annette Bening were denied access to a Schwarzeneger rally in California today. A Schwarzeneger aide literally blocked the way to keep them from entering.

Actors squaring off over politics is always funny. Unfortunately, one of those actors happens to be the governor.

This is exactly why I don't vote.

History of the day for November 5

In 1804, Lewis and Clark settle in for winter in North Dakota, marking the first and last visitors to the state.

Whenever I have an erotic pirate dream, my timber is always shivered.

When I typed this into the comments of monkey's blog I decided that it was amusing enough to reproduce as its own thing.

Raisin Eugenics

The spectre of Nazism lingers on in raisin consumption as white grapes are being turned into raisins. Aren't the soulful, rhythm and blues singing, dark raisins good enough for Americans?


Instead Americans are beginning to consume white raisins genetically designed to be part of some kind of master raisin:

History of the day for November 4

In 2025, funding of schools with lottery money backfires when the grown up products of the educational system are capable of calculating the odds of winning and stop playing.

Penis Launcher

I just got some spam that had the headline "penis launcher". Of course, it was for increasing the size of my wang. But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that if I have to launch my cock into space, I don't want it to get bigger.

Because in space, no one can hear you ejaculate.

If there was a porn version of Alien, maybe that would be the teaser.

This was too funny not to pass up.

The latest designer drug.

History of the day for November 3

In 1989, in a much less popularized scandal, Ken Ober of Remote Control testifies to a congressional subcommittee that the MTV game show was fixed.

I'm watching Full House

Right now! Ever since Jiggs saw Bob Saget, I've been wanting to see an episode of Full House. I was flipping around, and there it was! Today's episode was the one where DJ and Kimmy go to junior high for the first time, and learn to put on makeup on and dress "Junior High" which apparently means slutty with stuffed bras. Then one of the Olsen twins puts lipstick on all over her face in preparation for her drug addition 16 years later.

The sad part was, the entire time I was watching all I could think about was how Bob Saget used to sexually abuse the girls.

Douchebag crime update

Most of the crime updates I get are frightening. This one is just stupid:

On October 24, 2005, at approximately 6:37 PM, a woman was the victim of an attempted auto theft. A suspect posing as a parking attendant attempted to get her keys. Victim refused to give up her keys but instead purchased a parking permit from machine. Suspect re-contacted her, and when she threatened to call the police, suspect fled south on Ellsworth St.

What a pathetic douchebag! That's the sorriest attempt at stealing a car I've ever heard of:

Uh, ya, hi. I'm the uh, parking, uh attendant. Uh could you uh give me your uh keys?

Update from the East coast.......

your face!

I don't know what that means. I'm in Boston.

I'm drunk. I spent $12 for 24 hours of internet access at my hotel, only to find that the conference building has free internet.

I am a douchebag.

But the Harpoon Brewerey still gave me free beer, so i guess that means i'm still cool

Activist judges

I was just reading an article about activist judges, and something in it I found quite fascinating. Here is a chart of how often a justice votes to overturn a law passed by congress:

Thomas 65.63 %
Kennedy 64.06 %
Scalia 56.25 %
Rehnquist 46.88 %
OÂ’Connor 46.77 %
Souter 42.19 %
Stevens 39.34 %
Ginsburg 39.06 %
Breyer 28.13 %

You'll notice that the ones most likely to overturn congress are also the ones considered the most conservative (and vice versa). Also, the ones most likely to agree with congress are the Jews, which is interesting too.

Why is this? Please someone explain this to me.

Say it ain't so, Isaac

Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist? When did this happen? More importantly, why did this happen? Did L. Ron Hubbard need a soul transfusion? Hot Scientology babes? Was the line for Kabbalah too long?

I just want to understand.

Text Message

I just wanted to share with you a text message I received last week:

Hey, I just found out that someone
you used to sleep with just found
out that he has AIDS. But don't
worry there's some good news....
I just saved a bunch of money on
my car insurance by switching to
Geico.

History of the day for November 2

In 1921, Patrick Mattern invents Wheaties, the "Breakfast Of Champions." This replaces the former breakfast of champions, a plateful of bacon and a glass of beer.

I HOPE THERE IS A CAPSLOCK KEY IN HEAVEN!!!

BECAUSE I TOTALLY FUCKING LOVE MY CAPSLOCK KEY. I WANT TO HAVE 10 MILLION OF ITS BABIES!!!

I smell like garlic

Yesterday I had this really good pizza. One of the things it had was whole roasted garlic. I probably had like 10 cloves of garlic. Today, I can't get rid of the smell. I've been smelling it in my nose. My pee smells like garlic. My farts smell like garlic.

How do I make it stop?

ps. Y'all might enjoy this:

Man who thinks he's a skateboard

pps. Apparently, blogger spell check does not know the word fart. How is that possible?

ppps. It also doesn't know the word "blogger".

Hey Macarena

I heard the song "Hey Macarena" today, and I was just wondering, does anyone do that dance anymore?

Fuck you Barbara Walters!

Who do I have to boink to get on her fascinating people list!

Lance Armstrong is on the list and he only has one nut!

History of the day for November 1

In 2012, after extensive market research, Coca-Cola re-releases New Coke as Classic New Coke to a public nostalgic for the old times, even when they sucked.