Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Oh how I love Trader Joe's Honey O's

They're so good. And Yes I'm still awake. It's just not right.

I don't know if I have pointed this out recently, but I'm a huge douchebag.

And I've got this HUGE canker sore in my mouth that hurts like a son of a bitch. It hurts so bad that I punch myself in my tiny little cock just to give myself a pain that distracts me from the canker sore pain.

23 comments:

Charles (Jiggs' Member) said...

It's true and I hate Jiggs for it.

Fred said...

can i punch your tiny penis? i have metal hands about 20 feet wide.

Fred said...

robots will be cowboys!

Lee Ann said...

Oh! Sorry jiggs, hope it feels better!
Try some warm salt water.

Gyrobo said...

Don't listen to any of those "holistic" cures. The real salve lies in harsh, untested antibiotics.

Just buy about $40 worth. The FDA is just giving those things away.

Tumbleweed said...

Wow, I learn more intimate things about you every day. Sweet!

The Husband said...

a canker sore...that sucks. how did you get the canker?

Dave Morris said...

May I suggest NOT punching yourself in the cock? It just never pays to abuse the little dude, sometimes they revolt and start peeing (or something else) in your eye when you least expect it.

Ɯbermilf said...

Calzone is full of germs.

Spinning Girl said...

Maybe you could just stick pins in your eyes or something; no need to get violent.
ps My favorite cereal: Honey Nut Cheerios

Lee Ann said...

I am with Spinning, that is my favorite cereal too!

Brookelina said...

I'll always be there for you, even if you are a douchebag.

jiggs said...

Fred: Punch away. It's useless to me anyway.

lee ann: I've given up soda for the time being and I'm drinking a lot of tea. But I'll try some salt water too.

gyrobo: for some reason I doubt that you're looking out for my best interests

tumbling tumbleweed: this blog is chock full of intimate details about me. Except it's in a secret code that can only be cracked by the WW2 ENIAC computer.

Carl: Canker sores just happen to me. Little canker bastards.

Dave: My penis is useless to me. Every other part of my body is useful. If my penis revolts, I'm sending it off to boarding school.

SG: I have to use my eyes tho. My cock is worse than my appendix.

SG & Lee Ann: "Oh look at me! I have enough money to buy brand name honey nut cheerios! I think I'm so good."

Brooke: You are the girders in my foundation. I'm not completely certain that made sense.

Lee Ann said...

Wow Jiggs!
Are you angry about something?
I love ya anyway!

Spinning Girl said...

Do I need to come over there and school you? I can, you know.

jiggs said...

Lee Ann: I'm not angry. I was just amusing myself by acting as if you telling me about your favorite cereal was an attempt at being classist. So to sum up, I was just kidding about that comment.

SG: MUST... RESIST... URGE... TO... FLIRT!!!

I've been a naughty boy. I need some schooling.

SWEET MONKEYS! That flirt just slipped out. I'll just punch myself in the cock for punishment and... done.

Charles (Jiggs' Member) said...

Honestly I hate him.

Monkey said...

SWEET MONKEYS! That flirt just slipped out. I'll just punch myself in the cock for punishment and... done.

Blasphemy!

I can tell you from experience Jiggs that Motrin or Tylenol will help more than torturing your genitals. Also, swish with warm salt water. You know.. the things your mom told you to do.

jiggs said...

I can tell you from experience Jiggs that Motrin or Tylenol will help more than torturing your genitals. Also, swish with warm salt water. You know.. the things your mom told you to do.

This paragraph is funny in context, but it's genius level out of context.

Fred said...

i eat honey nut energon goodies. they are great for the munchies too.

jamwall said...

if jiggs' member would just stay in the batmobile with robin, he wouldn't be getting punched.

.....i don't know what that means...

jiggs said...

fred: I heard a rumor that you smoke pot! Is it true?

jamwall: I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! no wait, I don't actually.

Fred said...

no, i cant smoke jack as i have a metal faceplate covering up my mouth. yes.