Thursday, December 01, 2005

If I were a cyborg, my head would have just exploded

It's hard for me to suppress my very human urge to destroy.

I'm turning into a blogging nihilist. Or perhaps a blogging dadaist. I don't really know the definitions of either of those words, so perhaps both or neither. Let's see:
Da·da or da·da
A European artistic and literary movement (1916-1923) that flouted conventional aesthetic and cultural values by producing works marked by nonsense, travesty, and incongruity.
ni·hil·ism
  1. Philosophy.
    1. An extreme form of skepticism that denies all existence.
    2. A doctrine holding that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated.
  2. Rejection of all distinctions in moral or religious value and a willingness to repudiate all previous theories of morality or religious belief.
  3. The belief that destruction of existing political or social institutions is necessary for future improvement.
  4. also Nihilism A diffuse, revolutionary movement of mid 19th-century Russia that scorned authority and tradition and believed in reason, materialism, and radical change in society and government through terrorism and assassination.
  5. Psychiatry. A delusion, experienced in some mental disorders, that the world or one's mind, body, or self does not exist.
I might be a 3 or a 4 and with respect to my penis a 5.

28 comments:

jamwall said...

i got no problem with the nihilists, they weren't the ones who peed on my fucking rug.

....that rug really tied the room together...

Calzone said...

dude...I said I was sorry. Just stop bringing it up, I was wasted

Lee Ann said...

Jiggs ~ That's ok, your tongue makes up for it. I keep telling you that! ;)

jamwall said...

i don't believe in rugs anymore, i'm not a nihilist.

...i'm now working on not believing in carpet...

but i believe in carpet eating..

and jiggs' tongue...

come here calzone you dirty pee-boy!

jamwall said...

lemmie restate that, my nihilism would prevent me from believing in rugs...

oh shit, why am i talking about rugs, i don't believe in them..

...i did it again!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is.....(drum roll)................. Chuck Norris, yes I had to admit it was me. If I was to post using my real name it would obliviate this blog. My powers are stronger than he-man. Anyways, I'm drunk but still my powers prevail. When I piss it rains in drought ridden countries. You guys constantly comment.. Lee ann I'd date you but get a life and quit blogging all the damn time.

Chuck Norris says Peace Out Hommie

Fred said...

whats a hommie? sound slike some sort of fairy cakes homosexualitor.

jiggs said...

jamwall: Phone's ringing, jamwall.

lee ann: If people would just give my tongue a chance, it would end hunger, poverty and war.

jamwall: I also believe in carpet eating. Also in box munching.

anonymous: I don't understand how you could take a funny bit about Chuck Norris being Jesus and suck all the funny out of it.

Lee Ann: don't listen to anonymous. You're great. Calzone and I both worship the ground you walk on.

Fred: mmm fairy cakes.

Fred said...

oh noes! my head asplode!

my word verifification is "comekl"

is that russian for funny?

jiggs said...

Freddy: Your article gonna be published today or tomorrow

Fred said...

i just ejaculated!

Monkey said...

I vote for the dadaist movement. Nihilism has always scared me. It's very fashionable to be sure, but I don't like looking into the abyss for too long.

Ah do do do, ah da da da, is all I want to say to you. Hooo Hooo!

I have another sore throat dammit. All my funny is gone.

Lee Ann said...

Jiggs, you are right about the ending hunger, poverty and war...if they only knew. You and Calzone are great too.

Anon, ah, thank you, I may date you too, if you wouldn't be anonymous. That could possibly change my life of "blogging all the time";)

*hugs to you all*

Fred said...

oh noes! hugs makes my head asplode!

larin von smartass said...

"he's a nihilist man"
the dude

unrealated note: word ver-
feratbtz
as in- ferret bites
(which really are the best kind)

jamwall said...

penis size.....good god. all this self promotion..

oh yeah, i forgot, Vote for Banana Blograma!!!!

jiggs said...

I wish there were more real-life nihilists in my daily routine. They are so unintentionally funny that they would make my life funny.

Jamwall, Larin: Have you guys ever been to the lebowski fest?

Fre': Keep me posted.

Monkey: gargle with saltwater. Or urine. I don't remember what you're supposed to gargle with when you have a sore throat.

Lee Ann said...

I feel like I am getting a sore throat too, Jiggs! Monkey must have given it to me ~ his comment was right above mine!

jiggs said...

Lee Ann: Have I mentioned that my tongue is great at getting rid of sore throats?

jamwall said...

i don't believe in "fests," i'm a nihilist..

thank you for your support jiggs. i get excited when people poo themselves for my sake.

Brookelina said...

How's your tiny penis?

Lee Ann said...

Hey look Jiggs, I am on top (I mean above you)!
Well, good, when are you coming over to help me get rid of this sore throat?

jiggs said...

Lee Ann: I wish my tongue was long enough to get to you in Birmingham.

Brooke: I like you Brooke. You engage me and my penis. And I don't mean that in a sexual way. Unless of course, you want it to be in a sexual way, in which case, yes, I would like it to be in a sexual way.

Unfortunately, even if it was in a sexual way, my tiny little penis would look so pathetic and so inadequate that you would probably start crying for me. My penis is so tiny that I bathe it in a thimble. My penis is so tiny that it actually exists in negative space. My penis is so tiny that if I happened to be a cyborg, my head would explode.

Now to beat Lee Ann to the punch, I more than make up for it with my tongue. My tongue is a lot like Jesus. It has the power to heal. Also, somewhat unlike Jesus, my tongue has the power to cause mighty orgasms.

Lee Ann said...

ummm...ummm...ummmmm!

Booty J Patrol said...

From the looks of that last comment from Lee Ann, it looks like your tounge IS long enough to reach Birmingham.

Lee Ann said...

booty! hahaha

jiggs said...

I underestimated my tongue!

Lee Ann said...

haha, never underestimate... ;)